HEY!!!!!
I have to say, you guys are amazing. Thanks for reading. ^_^ I just posted on Facebook that Thanksgiving didn't ruin my diet, that I've officially lost 75 pounds now. The thing is, I'm a little nervous about how Jack and Mike will perceive that. Otherwise, Thanksgiving came and went fairly quietly. It was nice at least getting to talk to my entire family. A little after dinner, I got a text from a number I thought I recognized as Mike's, and got kind of happy. I double checked the number, though, and the last 2 digits were different. I nicely told this other guy that he'd texted the wrong person. It kind of sucked, though, finding out it was some stranger and not my friend. It's funny, Jack and Danny's numbers only differ by the last 2 digits, too. I did an insane amount of cleaning and sorting after I went home, it helps
me calm down and think. It helps me not only sort out all the shit I have, but my emotions. I was thinking (yet again) about this whole Jack situation. I think by any standard, ours is a pretty damn weird situation; I tell him I like him, he (gently) rejects me, then he and his girlfriend break up, but we're still friends and he invites me to 2 shows in a row. I really don't know for certain what to even call this. I also kind of hate that his band's shows are basically the only things I am invited to anymore, because I'm Straight Edge. You might not think a show would necessarily be the best place to showcase that, but I'm never the only Straight Edge person there. I'm just chilling here alone now, drinking some coffee. I'd really rather be with some friends today, but I can't complain or demand too much of them. 
I'm really happy I'm so much thinner now, and kind of pissed that I ever let it get so bad in the first place. I was definitely what's called and emotional eater, I'd get upset and just start eating whether I was hungry or not. I'm almost regreting sharing this with my friends, though. I don't want Jack to know how fat I was. I know it might not seem like such a big deal, but it is for me, I'm ashamed of what I let happen to myself. It also sucks that a fat girl is treated quite a bit worse than a fat guy. But, I figured if Jack and my friend Dana both had the guts to talk about their former weight problems, I could too. It's called sharing, right? It's supposed to bring us closer as friends and all that? I hope so. I hope it doesn't make him see me any differently, though. I know he's got a lot of really pretty girls who hang on his every word, and doesn't necessarily need my attention. I really hope he isn't that shallow. I'm deeply afraid he might be, though; for example he was offering $10 to the first girl to come and give him a back rub. It made me laugh my ass off when Mike said "Okay, I'll do it." God, he's funny. He has the same kind of light, happy energy that Mark does most of the time and I like that a lot. I guess that's more or less it for right now. Thanks again for reading and letting me vent about the utter crazy mess my life has devolved into.
me calm down and think. It helps me not only sort out all the shit I have, but my emotions. I was thinking (yet again) about this whole Jack situation. I think by any standard, ours is a pretty damn weird situation; I tell him I like him, he (gently) rejects me, then he and his girlfriend break up, but we're still friends and he invites me to 2 shows in a row. I really don't know for certain what to even call this. I also kind of hate that his band's shows are basically the only things I am invited to anymore, because I'm Straight Edge. You might not think a show would necessarily be the best place to showcase that, but I'm never the only Straight Edge person there. I'm just chilling here alone now, drinking some coffee. I'd really rather be with some friends today, but I can't complain or demand too much of them. 
I'm really happy I'm so much thinner now, and kind of pissed that I ever let it get so bad in the first place. I was definitely what's called and emotional eater, I'd get upset and just start eating whether I was hungry or not. I'm almost regreting sharing this with my friends, though. I don't want Jack to know how fat I was. I know it might not seem like such a big deal, but it is for me, I'm ashamed of what I let happen to myself. It also sucks that a fat girl is treated quite a bit worse than a fat guy. But, I figured if Jack and my friend Dana both had the guts to talk about their former weight problems, I could too. It's called sharing, right? It's supposed to bring us closer as friends and all that? I hope so. I hope it doesn't make him see me any differently, though. I know he's got a lot of really pretty girls who hang on his every word, and doesn't necessarily need my attention. I really hope he isn't that shallow. I'm deeply afraid he might be, though; for example he was offering $10 to the first girl to come and give him a back rub. It made me laugh my ass off when Mike said "Okay, I'll do it." God, he's funny. He has the same kind of light, happy energy that Mark does most of the time and I like that a lot. I guess that's more or less it for right now. Thanks again for reading and letting me vent about the utter crazy mess my life has devolved into. Today's song is "Say you'll haunt me" by Stone Sour 
BYE!!!!!!!!!
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