Jack and Josh

HEY!!!!!
Good morning, you guys. These last couple of days have been intense, and I don't like that. Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had in months, everything seemed to go wrong and I was stressed out and worried all day. I'm hoping today will be better. Tuesday, on the other hand, was fucking awesome. ^_^ Everything worked out well, I was happy, and met a very interesting new guy. I went into the store Jack worked at, and there was this guy behind the counter that had a bit of a resemblance to him, though not quite so cute, but with an equally beautiful smile. His name is Josh, and we chatted for a bit and had a laugh over the fact that we were both wearing Misfits shirts at the time. A funny thing about my Misfits shirt; guys seem to dig it. I actually remember that's what I was wearing when Jack said he'd been thinking about me. I think Josh is really nice, and didn't feel awkward around him like I did around Jack. I like Josh, I think.

It would be a lie if I said this didn't make me happy, though I'm not sure if it should. I know Jack is not my boyfriend, and more than likely never will be, but it bothers me to think that I at least might like Josh if I get to know him better. I shouldn't be thinking like this, but I think some part of me has given up on Jack ever loving me like I love him. I also ran into one of my fanboys, the one who wrote about me in the newspaper, specifically. I don't know why this guy is so persistent when I haven't given him any indication that I like him at all, I'm not even nice to him to be honest with you. Does it make me terrible to be so desperate for Jack's attention while ignoring this guy and being kind of a bitch to him? I don't want to lead him on or give him false hope, so I let him know in every way possible that the feeling is not mutual. The weird thing is, I still want to be with Jack in the worst way. He was quoting one of my all time favorite movies and made me laugh so hard, it felt nice to be laughing with him again. It's awesome that this movie is also one of his favorite movies. I think that's for today, I have to go. Thanks you so much for reading.
Today's song is "Saku" by Dir En Grey
BYE!!!