Cold.....

HEY!!!!!

I'm still not feeling great, but I guess I should be glad it's not worse. I gave Mark my cold too, and he feels terrible. I feel really guilty, I should have known not to hug him when I was sick. I got him some medicine, and hope it works quickly and well. I'm so glad I went to Jack's band's show, and can't wait until I can have their new songs on my i POD. I saw a rather different side of Mike at that show, he said "I wanna see some people moving right fucking now!!!" It's just weird because he doesn't usually swear, unlike Jack and I who swear basically all the time. I didn't see it coming, since he's always Mr. Nice Guy, you know? I have to admit, I found it kind of funny. I can't believe how cold it's gotten here lately, I hate it. It's supposed to be June soon damn it, and it doesn't feel like it. I'm staying inside with my coffee until I absolutely have to go to work. I hope Mom and Cassie are
having fun on their trip, I kind of miss them already. I love them. I should probably be eating something as I write this, but I'm not really hungry and plan to skip breakfast this morning. It's weird, before I lost weight, I'd never skip meals. I got a complement from the strangest source a few days ago, Kevin. I was bitching about how I'm never going to be really super skinny, no matter how much weight I've lost. He sent me a message saying that most super skinny girls are stuck up bitches, and I'm not. He also said that I'm kind and generous with everyone and have a great heart. I didn't really expect to hear back from him, let alone to get such a nice complement. I know that Jack told Mike now nice I am, too. I hope it's true, I don't always feel like a very nice girl. I should be glad to be thought of like that, right? I just think I do a better job of repressing my darker side than most people, and that's why everyone says I'm so nice. I want to be a good person, but often chafe and always having to be "the good girl", when I don't always want to. Granted, I know I've done a lot to help out the people I love, but even that isn't entirely altruistic. I want these people to think well of me, you know? I've become so cynical, I even question my own motives, lol. It's not that I don't love all of them and want the best for them, but I also have to admit that I want them to see me in the most positive light possible. Is that selfish? I wonder if it bothers Mike to always be the nice guy, while Jack just does whatever the hell he wants. I imagine it does sometimes, though I've never asked him about it. I guess that's it for right now. Thanks for reading. ^_^
Today's song is "The god that failed" by Metallica
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!