HEY!!!!!!!!!!
I'm really glad to be back. I took a chance and went out yesterday, if only because I was starting to get sick of the inside of my apartment. It was some of the worst driving I've ever done, believe me. So, I'm walking to work today. I'm just lucky I don't have very far to go in this case. It's finally quit snowing, but that doesn't mean
there aren't a few feet of snow to trudge though. I'm still missing Jack, I think he and his bandmates are getting a lot of practice in before their show in 2 days. I wish he missed me. I did some baking the other day, after I finally got my ass away from the computer. I listened to almost every Slipknot song I have while baking, good times. 
I made some awesome chocolate chip cookies, by the way. I just like the juxtaposition of the cute girl in the apron, listening to Death Metal. I have one other female friend who's really into them, and that makes me really happy. I have some amazing friends, and I can't let myself forget that. My friend Sarah is probably one of the best, even though I haven't known her as long as some of my other friends. I also happen to think it's pretty amazing that she's a professional photographer, with her own little studio. She's also doing what she loves. I'm so glad I met her. She and I kind of encourage each other, I've told her how badly I want to be a writer. Jack, Mike, and Casey have also helped me a little in that respect, simply by doing what they do. They love what they're doing, and went for it. These people are all so talented and awesome, I almost feel in awe of them, though I also get to see their human sides as their friend and (sometimes) confidant. I hope they know how happy I am to simply have them in my life, and how much I love them in one way or another. ^_~ I'm getting a little sappy here, sorry. I'm sitting here, 
hoping they know all this when I should just tell them face to face. I think they do know how I feel, even if I don't say it all the time. That doesn't mean I should neglect to mention it, however. I mean, think how I'd feel if they never did or said anything to let me know they care about me. I'd fucking lose it if I thought they didn't care. I guess it's really just important that we neglect each other. I know Jack knows how I feel about him. ~_^ I just hope he isn't freaked out by it. I feel sometimes like I don't deserve him, I feel like I have nothing to offer him. I know there are lots of other, prettier, girls who can offer him just as much, if not more ,than I can. Okay, obviously, I'm feeling insecure right now. I'm being ridiculous, right? I'm just not really sure what he's looking for in a girl, you know? I think he's looking for someone on the short, slender side. I'm short, and fairly slender, but I'm not sure I'm slender enough. I hate that, I know I should be judging myself on other criteria, but this seems to be all that anyone gives a rat's ass about. I think on an emotional level, he and I understand each other amazing
ly well most of the time, but I don't know if he thinks I'm pretty enough. Sadly, I think he'd want a girl to go drinking with him, and that will never be me. I can't tell you how much I like being able to share the stuff I write with him and my other friends, and that he'll often share his own writings. I'm SO grateful for that outlet, and this one. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have them, believe me. I think that's also why Jack plays, and we DO understand that about each other. I think that's it for right now, I have to get going.
there aren't a few feet of snow to trudge though. I'm still missing Jack, I think he and his bandmates are getting a lot of practice in before their show in 2 days. I wish he missed me. I did some baking the other day, after I finally got my ass away from the computer. I listened to almost every Slipknot song I have while baking, good times. 
I made some awesome chocolate chip cookies, by the way. I just like the juxtaposition of the cute girl in the apron, listening to Death Metal. I have one other female friend who's really into them, and that makes me really happy. I have some amazing friends, and I can't let myself forget that. My friend Sarah is probably one of the best, even though I haven't known her as long as some of my other friends. I also happen to think it's pretty amazing that she's a professional photographer, with her own little studio. She's also doing what she loves. I'm so glad I met her. She and I kind of encourage each other, I've told her how badly I want to be a writer. Jack, Mike, and Casey have also helped me a little in that respect, simply by doing what they do. They love what they're doing, and went for it. These people are all so talented and awesome, I almost feel in awe of them, though I also get to see their human sides as their friend and (sometimes) confidant. I hope they know how happy I am to simply have them in my life, and how much I love them in one way or another. ^_~ I'm getting a little sappy here, sorry. I'm sitting here, 
hoping they know all this when I should just tell them face to face. I think they do know how I feel, even if I don't say it all the time. That doesn't mean I should neglect to mention it, however. I mean, think how I'd feel if they never did or said anything to let me know they care about me. I'd fucking lose it if I thought they didn't care. I guess it's really just important that we neglect each other. I know Jack knows how I feel about him. ~_^ I just hope he isn't freaked out by it. I feel sometimes like I don't deserve him, I feel like I have nothing to offer him. I know there are lots of other, prettier, girls who can offer him just as much, if not more ,than I can. Okay, obviously, I'm feeling insecure right now. I'm being ridiculous, right? I'm just not really sure what he's looking for in a girl, you know? I think he's looking for someone on the short, slender side. I'm short, and fairly slender, but I'm not sure I'm slender enough. I hate that, I know I should be judging myself on other criteria, but this seems to be all that anyone gives a rat's ass about. I think on an emotional level, he and I understand each other amazing
ly well most of the time, but I don't know if he thinks I'm pretty enough. Sadly, I think he'd want a girl to go drinking with him, and that will never be me. I can't tell you how much I like being able to share the stuff I write with him and my other friends, and that he'll often share his own writings. I'm SO grateful for that outlet, and this one. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have them, believe me. I think that's also why Jack plays, and we DO understand that about each other. I think that's it for right now, I have to get going. Today's song is "Gehenna" by Slipknot
BYE!!!!!!!!!
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