HEY!!!!!!!!!!
It's really good to be back writing this again. I went to work yesterday, and it felt really good to be up and around again. I actually woke up smiling yesterday morning, which I thought was a good sign for the remainder of the day, but also kind of weird. I felt fairly happy most of the day, which was nice. Jack's show was (of course) a total success, and I feel bad that I missed it. I had a really upset stomach, though, and didn't feel like dancing, singing, or cheering. They have another show coming up in a few weeks, and it sounds like a lot of fun. I want to see him again so badly it almost hurts. I'm also becoming friends with Cassie's best friend, I think Cassie chose her best friend very well. I've been talking a lot with Sarah, I'm SO glad I met her. I don't know if I should apologize to Jack for missing his band's show, I don't know if he'd believe me. He might not care very much that I wasn't there, anyway. I keep going back and forth on this, sorry. I keep wondering then why he'd keep inviting me if he didn't want me to go. I sit here and type this, wondering what the hell is going on with us for the billionth time. 
I know I've got his attention, and I know that he's not afraid to reach out to me(sometimes), but I just don't get him. I want to just ask him flat out what he really thinks and feels about me, but I'm way too chickenshit for that. Okay, I could go on and on about him. I usually do, right? ^_~ I wonder sometimes too, if we'd really be all that good together if we were together. I had a few terrible dreams Saturday night; in the first one I was diagnosed as terminally ill, and in the next Jack left and I never saw him again. What's crazy is that I was more upset about Jack leaving. Obviously, I didn't sleep too well that night, which is why I was kind of euphoric about sleeping well and waking up smiling. Okay, enough about that. Mom's said she might want to go to Okinawa with me next year. I don't really know how I feel about that, since Japan has always been kind of "my" thing. I know she just wants me to let her in a little, but I don't want to let her in on everything. I'm just kind of afraid she'll start taking over, she can be kind of bossy. I don't want to sit here badmouthing my mom, but I have to tell the truth about her. It's not that I don't love her, I can't emphasize that enough. I just want to have a bit more in the boundary department where she's concerned. I guess that's really about it for today, I have to get to work. I want to thank you for reading. ^_^ 
I know I've got his attention, and I know that he's not afraid to reach out to me(sometimes), but I just don't get him. I want to just ask him flat out what he really thinks and feels about me, but I'm way too chickenshit for that. Okay, I could go on and on about him. I usually do, right? ^_~ I wonder sometimes too, if we'd really be all that good together if we were together. I had a few terrible dreams Saturday night; in the first one I was diagnosed as terminally ill, and in the next Jack left and I never saw him again. What's crazy is that I was more upset about Jack leaving. Obviously, I didn't sleep too well that night, which is why I was kind of euphoric about sleeping well and waking up smiling. Okay, enough about that. Mom's said she might want to go to Okinawa with me next year. I don't really know how I feel about that, since Japan has always been kind of "my" thing. I know she just wants me to let her in a little, but I don't want to let her in on everything. I'm just kind of afraid she'll start taking over, she can be kind of bossy. I don't want to sit here badmouthing my mom, but I have to tell the truth about her. It's not that I don't love her, I can't emphasize that enough. I just want to have a bit more in the boundary department where she's concerned. I guess that's really about it for today, I have to get to work. I want to thank you for reading. ^_^ 
Today's song is "The Heretci Anthem" by Slipknot
BYE!!!!!!!!!
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