HEY!! 
I'm back again. I don't have a lot to talk about except that I'm really glad I told my mom's friend off. He actually came to see me at her place yesterday, and I just told him the truth. I wish it were always that easy for me to get my points across to others. I worry sometimes that I withhold too much from others, and that makes them think I don't care as much as I do. I have to be careful sometimes not to say too much, at the same time. Is there anything in life that isn't a balancing act anymore? I worry that I'm a little too pushy and possessive when I really care about someone, and that I'm too overprotective. Take Cory, for example. The last time I saw him he was telling me how tired he was and how hard he'd been working; I told him to go home and get some sleep immediately. I think I'm kind of maternal when it comes to him, and he hates it. Well, I did the same thing with Jack the last time I talked to him, telling him "I remember being glad you didn't get hurt." I just have a crazy protective streak, I can't help it. I'm snacking on rice crackers and green tea right now and cranking Dir en grey. God, to be Japanese. I was cranking Nirvana on my way to work this morning.
I took the bus, since I loathe driving. I swear, I thought Mike was sitting a few seats away from me. I almost tapped this guy who looks so much like him on the shoulder and said "Hey", until I saw that this guy had no tattoos. Mike has one on the inside of his right arm. There aren't THAT many skinny red haired guys hanging around here, you know? I felt kind of stupid for doing that. I'm glad I stopped before making a total ass of myself, but then I started wishing that had been him, and we could have at least talked for a few minutes. I smiled to hear his and Jack's voices waking me up this morning, I just let the song play and thought "Good morning, boys." The novelty of the fact that these guys are my 
friends has yet to wear off. 
I got teased about Jack again yesterday, but by Mom. I don't really bother to defend our friendship anymore, I don't feel the need. It's not that I feel I shouldn't defend it, but all we do is talk and encourage each other, so there's nothing TO defend. God, it feels good to sit here. I wish I could say I feel totally secure in all my relationships, but I don't. I worry that I either give too much or that I don't give enough. I'd just like to know when I give enough, you know? I feel sometimes like I try too hard and people don't like that. I tend to forget that not everyone is as obvious as I think I am. I wonder if I really am as obvious as I think I am, because Jack wouldn't have brought up that bit about falling off the stage again if he really knew what I was thinking. I wonder why he thought I'd want to hear about him getting even mildly hurt. It wasn't the whole "Chicks dig scars" theory, I hope. This particular chick DOES NOT dig scars. I'm just glad it wasn't worse than a few bruises and scratches. It wasn't the first time he'd kind of bragged about his capacity to endure pain, I asked him if it hurt a lot when he got his tattoos, and he said ;"The one on my inner arm didn't hurt at all, 'cause it's not a sensitive area, I did feel some pain with the one on my foot, but not too much." I have to give him credit for at least having the guts to go get the tattoos, which I don't. I kind of admire the guts that he, Mike, and Cassie have. They've all gone after what they want and are all very close to it. I think that's all about my family, friends, and I for right now. I did want to comment on something that happened a little while ago, but I kept skipping over. The West Mephis 3 have finally been relased, I almost didn't believe it when I read it. I'm really glad, they aren't the murderers people were led to believe they were. I almost didn't think it would happen, especially after 18 years. I think that's really it for right now. Thanks for reading, and I'll be back as soon as I can.
I took the bus, since I loathe driving. I swear, I thought Mike was sitting a few seats away from me. I almost tapped this guy who looks so much like him on the shoulder and said "Hey", until I saw that this guy had no tattoos. Mike has one on the inside of his right arm. There aren't THAT many skinny red haired guys hanging around here, you know? I felt kind of stupid for doing that. I'm glad I stopped before making a total ass of myself, but then I started wishing that had been him, and we could have at least talked for a few minutes. I smiled to hear his and Jack's voices waking me up this morning, I just let the song play and thought "Good morning, boys." The novelty of the fact that these guys are my 
friends has yet to wear off. 
I got teased about Jack again yesterday, but by Mom. I don't really bother to defend our friendship anymore, I don't feel the need. It's not that I feel I shouldn't defend it, but all we do is talk and encourage each other, so there's nothing TO defend. God, it feels good to sit here. I wish I could say I feel totally secure in all my relationships, but I don't. I worry that I either give too much or that I don't give enough. I'd just like to know when I give enough, you know? I feel sometimes like I try too hard and people don't like that. I tend to forget that not everyone is as obvious as I think I am. I wonder if I really am as obvious as I think I am, because Jack wouldn't have brought up that bit about falling off the stage again if he really knew what I was thinking. I wonder why he thought I'd want to hear about him getting even mildly hurt. It wasn't the whole "Chicks dig scars" theory, I hope. This particular chick DOES NOT dig scars. I'm just glad it wasn't worse than a few bruises and scratches. It wasn't the first time he'd kind of bragged about his capacity to endure pain, I asked him if it hurt a lot when he got his tattoos, and he said ;"The one on my inner arm didn't hurt at all, 'cause it's not a sensitive area, I did feel some pain with the one on my foot, but not too much." I have to give him credit for at least having the guts to go get the tattoos, which I don't. I kind of admire the guts that he, Mike, and Cassie have. They've all gone after what they want and are all very close to it. I think that's all about my family, friends, and I for right now. I did want to comment on something that happened a little while ago, but I kept skipping over. The West Mephis 3 have finally been relased, I almost didn't believe it when I read it. I'm really glad, they aren't the murderers people were led to believe they were. I almost didn't think it would happen, especially after 18 years. I think that's really it for right now. Thanks for reading, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Today's song is "The final" by Dir en grey
BYE!!!!!!!!
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