Good morning, everyone. I thought I'd have to tell Jack I couldn't go to his party and felt really guilty, despite the fact that he's the man who broke my heart. I would have told him I'd been planning this trip to Canada for a while, and can't really cancel my reservations. Mark is coming with me, and would have been really disappointed if we didn't go. I felt kind of stuck between them again, and didn't like it. I have to say again that I shouldn't have to choose between them, though I think Mark would win every time if I did. I might still be able to make this work, since he changed the date of the party. I'm so glad I can't even tell you. I was really afraid of disappointing him, despite how badly he's hurt me. That's weird, isn't it? Part of me still so badly wants his love, attention, and approval and I hate myself for it. I wonder why he changed the date, but guess it doesn't matter. I'm still trying to decide where to stay in Tokyo, and what to do. I know it seems like it's still a long time before I go to Tokyo, but really it isn't. I can't wait. I wish we could talk more. I still don't know how things are going to work out between us, but I don't want them to go badly. I wish there were some way we could be friends without it being weird and awkward. I think that's it for today. I'll try to write sometime during the week to make up for not writing this weekend.
Today's song is "The Suicide Circus" by The GazettE
BYE!!!!!!!
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