HEY!!!!!!
I'm kind of happy and sad at the same time right now, it's weird. I'm so happy to have Rachel and Mark right now, and my cousin Sandra. Mark was telling me I'm basically the greatest sister in the world, and how much he loves me. Could I not be moved by that, right? I was kind of bitching to Sandra and Rachel about Jack, and they were so good to me. I'm sad because Jack is leaving for another tour in a week or so, God damn it. I'm going to just sit here, missing him and wishing he'd ask me to a show. I can't get away from work, so I can't exactly just go wher
ever he might ask me to, if he asks again, after being turned down almost every time he asks. How fucking stupid am I to keep turning him down? Seriously, though, if someone asked you to do something 8 times, and you turned them down 7 of those times, what would you think? I admit to getting pissed at the girls who asked them to just take them with them in their van on tour. It sucks ass how far away he's going to be, I hate it. I hate that I don't have that kind of freedom, or that shameless attitude. I know in the end it's better to be responsible, and stick with my job, but I want to go to see them play again. I promised him. Maybe, just maybe, I can go to a show that isn't too far away. Here's what I look like with him. And 
without him. 
God, I'm lame to be so attached to him when he hasn't exactly been eager to be around me all the time. He's eager to have me at their shows, though, and it's always kind of nice just to be asked. Here's hoping he will ask me. I wonder what my family's reaction to him would be. Judging from Dad's reaction last time he was here though, it wouldn't be good. I know it shouldn't matter what they think of him, but I don't want them to hate him. I do see a lot of good in him, though he tries to hide it. I just wish the one fucking guy I want to date right now would want to date me, too. I think that's basically it for today. Thanks, as always, for reading.
ever he might ask me to, if he asks again, after being turned down almost every time he asks. How fucking stupid am I to keep turning him down? Seriously, though, if someone asked you to do something 8 times, and you turned them down 7 of those times, what would you think? I admit to getting pissed at the girls who asked them to just take them with them in their van on tour. It sucks ass how far away he's going to be, I hate it. I hate that I don't have that kind of freedom, or that shameless attitude. I know in the end it's better to be responsible, and stick with my job, but I want to go to see them play again. I promised him. Maybe, just maybe, I can go to a show that isn't too far away. Here's what I look like with him. And 
without him. 
God, I'm lame to be so attached to him when he hasn't exactly been eager to be around me all the time. He's eager to have me at their shows, though, and it's always kind of nice just to be asked. Here's hoping he will ask me. I wonder what my family's reaction to him would be. Judging from Dad's reaction last time he was here though, it wouldn't be good. I know it shouldn't matter what they think of him, but I don't want them to hate him. I do see a lot of good in him, though he tries to hide it. I just wish the one fucking guy I want to date right now would want to date me, too. I think that's basically it for today. Thanks, as always, for reading. Today's song is "Collapse (post amerika)" by Rise Against
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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