HEY!!!!!!
I'm kind of tired this morning, which doesn't bode well for the rest of the day. I'm thinking about Jack, poor guy. I know he'll be all right in time, I just don't want to see him unhappy. I can't really do more than pity him now though, I'm afraid. He's got plenty of other people who are doing their best to comfort him, too. So here I sit with my coffee, and wait to hear from him again because I can't be assertive enough to start a conversation with him myself. 
I wonder if he's been thinking about me at all, and hope he has. I also wonder if maybe I was right in thinking that he'd want me to be more assertive and confident around him, and he dislikes that I'm not more like that. I want to see him again really badly. 
I also wonder if maybe I'm really not beautiful enough to be with him. Yet, I'm beautiful enough for him to point me out to his friends and ask me to multiple shows. Like I said yesterday, there's a lot of shit here that makes no sense at all. I hate all this ambiguity. I think I should try and switch subjects again. I was hanging out with Rachel the other day, and she actually said she was jealous of how long and pretty my hair is. Just the idea that Rachel is jealous of me at all is laughable, believe me. I also heard from Cassie that her friend Hannah saw me and almost didn't recognize me, because of all the weight I've lost. See, Hannah's gained about as much weight as I've lost and is also a bit jealous that I've managed to keep it off. I was jealous of how pretty those two are for years, and to have the shoe on the other foot now is kind of crazy. Cassie was saying that same basic thing, so I'm a slender girl with long dark, pretty hair. ^_^ I just wish Jack would think the same fucking thing. I just wish he and I could be like this couple here, you know? 
I hate knowing that there are other guys out there who are clamoring for my attention, and all I can think of is Jack. I'm back on the subject of him again, damn it. I guess he's really taken up a lot of my time and is on my mind more frequently than is probably good for me, but I can't help it. I haven't been this nuts about a guy since I met Rob. Nevermind what a disaster that turned out to be. *_* I guess that's really it for right now. Thanks again for reading, and please keep it up. ^ _^
I wonder if he's been thinking about me at all, and hope he has. I also wonder if maybe I was right in thinking that he'd want me to be more assertive and confident around him, and he dislikes that I'm not more like that. I want to see him again really badly. 
I also wonder if maybe I'm really not beautiful enough to be with him. Yet, I'm beautiful enough for him to point me out to his friends and ask me to multiple shows. Like I said yesterday, there's a lot of shit here that makes no sense at all. I hate all this ambiguity. I think I should try and switch subjects again. I was hanging out with Rachel the other day, and she actually said she was jealous of how long and pretty my hair is. Just the idea that Rachel is jealous of me at all is laughable, believe me. I also heard from Cassie that her friend Hannah saw me and almost didn't recognize me, because of all the weight I've lost. See, Hannah's gained about as much weight as I've lost and is also a bit jealous that I've managed to keep it off. I was jealous of how pretty those two are for years, and to have the shoe on the other foot now is kind of crazy. Cassie was saying that same basic thing, so I'm a slender girl with long dark, pretty hair. ^_^ I just wish Jack would think the same fucking thing. I just wish he and I could be like this couple here, you know? 
I hate knowing that there are other guys out there who are clamoring for my attention, and all I can think of is Jack. I'm back on the subject of him again, damn it. I guess he's really taken up a lot of my time and is on my mind more frequently than is probably good for me, but I can't help it. I haven't been this nuts about a guy since I met Rob. Nevermind what a disaster that turned out to be. *_* I guess that's really it for right now. Thanks again for reading, and please keep it up. ^ _^ Today's song is " On the arrow" by AFI ^_^ ^_^
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!
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