Still lonely.......

HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

First of all, THANK YOU for the over 10,122 pageviews. Holy shit, that seems like a lot. I'm still missing Jack, which is stupid and pathetic because I doubt he misses me that much. I haven't heard from him or the rest of the band in a few days, and hope they're okay. Probably just scrambling to make their next tour date. I was bitching to Mark about how my computer's been really off lately, and I didn't get the invitation Jack sent to come to their show last week. That's why he asked me if I was coming. He started teasing me again, especially when I told him that would be (I think) the 8th time I've been invited to a show. He said "Dude, just date him already." I didn't want to admit that I'd asked him out, and got shot down. If we're EVER going to be together, though, we're damn well going to have to do a better job of asking each other out. So far, we've been really awkward and clumsy about it. My cousin Sabrina, the 13 year old I told you my mom started ragging on because she's into rock music, was bitching that her dad is bitching at her now because of it. Poor kid, I'm glad I'm at least free to do whatever the hell I want now. She looks awesome all gothed up, I think. I know my uncle can be an asshole, too. I hope she'll be okay, and won't change to try to make other people happy. I feel a little better just venting these feelings about Jack, which I couldn't really do when I talked to Mark yesterday. I'm fairly sure he already knows I'm mad about Jack, and sure loves to tease me about him, but it's another thing altogether to say it. I know that really to him and his friends, I am just another girl they met and deemed worthy of their attention. Yet to me, they've become something very special. It's not that the attention isn't flattering, because it is, but I hate knowing deep down that I'm just one of many. One of them was going on about this one girl in particular they met a few days ago, and I got pissed. Yeah, I'm jealous of some girl I don't even know. I'm honored that Jack still wants me to come and watch him play, really, but I wish he'd ask me to do something when I actually had time. How about we just sit and watch tv, or I watch him practice? I really don't give a damn so long as he's there. I hate that it's gotten to the point where I almost have to allot each person I know a certain amount of time with me, and that's it. My mom was telling me just this morning that she doesn't want me to just work all the time, that I should do something fun. I can't wait to go to San Francisco, especially because I've been freezing all day. I can't believe it's really only a couple of months until I'm there. ^_^ I'm really hungry, I'm glad I bought some veggie burgers yesterday. I guess that's about it for today. Thanks again for reading.

Today's song is "Turn the page", the Metallica version

BYE!!!!!!!!!