Birthday craziness

 HEY!!!!
Good morning, everyone. I have a lot to write about. I saw Nate again, he walked by me like I wasn't even there. I don't want him to be angry at me, I really don't. I swear I was never trying to hurt his feelings. It would have been worse to let him think I felt the same way about him if I didn't, right? I feel terrible. I feel like 15 years of friendship are ruined now, and there's no way to fix things between us. I started to cry again because of him. I hate this, but don't even know if there's anything I can do to save our friendship. I doubt it.  I think it made things worse when Jaime, Jack, and Mike all left me messages on Facebook for my birthday. I thought it was very sweet of them to think of me, but I think their messages put the last nail in the coffin of Nate's friendship with me. I'm willing to admit it made me stupidly happy to have these 3 absolutely gorgeous guys wishing me a happy birthday, but it made Nate even more pissed than he already was.

I didn't ask for this, the only one I wanted to start a conversation with ever was Jack, Jaime and Mike found me, Megan saw their messages and said "You have to tell me what you did to get their attention. I know Jack, but his friends don't like me." I told all I've ever done is listen to them, support them, and give them the benefit of the doubt even though I was a little suspicious of all of them at the beginning. I didn't add the last bit about being suspicious of them, though I thought it. I like speaking Spanish with Jaime too, I need the practice. I still often wonder what these guys are doing with me, and I've known them for a while. I think they do want someone who will listen to them and be there for them, just like anyone else. I think it's gone both ways, we listen to each other and are there for each other. All right, different subject. I got a surprisingly sweet birthday message from Cassie(my sister), and it made me smile like I haven't smiled in a long time. I want to think that as long as we can still have moments like that, there's still hope for us to be friends. Cory sent me something equally sweet too, but somehow it doesn't come as so much of a surprise from him. I'm closer to my brothers than my sister, it just seems to be easier for us to be friends. I think my brothers aren't as competitive and selfish as Cassie, and that's why we get along. I should try to be more fair to Cassie, she also deserves the benefit of the doubt. I've been thinking how weird my life is, and how much like a goth soap opera it's become. I think that's it for today. Thank you for reading. ^_^
Today's song is "People=shit" by Slipknot
BYE!!!