Busy..again

HEY!!!!!
I've been very busy again, and worried about Nate. I hate that all our years of friendship don't seem to mean anything to him anymore. I feel like our friendship has been thrown out the window and I hate it. I feel bad for hurting his feelings, but I know I did the right thing by not going out with him if I didn't actually have feelings for him.  I hate that I've lost such a good friend, but maybe this is the way it has to be.  Jack and Mike said they're going on another tour before Warped Tour soon. I want to spend some time with them before they leave, because it looks like I won't get to see them for months. I don't want to lose touch while they're gone. I'm going to both the shows Jack invited me to, I kind of owe him for turning him down so many times in the past and don't want to lose him, too. I was sitting on a bench eating the lunch I'd packed for myself on my lunch break yesterday and sipping some coffee when these asshole guys drive by, stick their heads out the window, start revving their truck's engine and cat-calling. Fucking idiots. I ignored them, but it was obnoxious. I'm going to be hating life without Jack and Mike again, it's a little bit sad how much I've come to rely on these guys to make me smile. It's also sad how much I still want to be with Jack, and that some part of me still believes it's possible, despite our failed attempts at asking each other out. I can't help how I feel about him. I want us to be together.

We definitely have a connection I haven't felt with any man, and I don't want to give up on that. I love that we don't have to pretend to think or feel the same way about things or be interested in the same things, we actually are. I find it funny that he's also one of the few guys I know to have seen me without makeup, and he's good with it. I've been closer to him than I have almost any guy I've known in my life. I think the only guys I'm closer to are my brothers. I'm going to miss the living shit out of him when he's gone. >_> I think that's it for now. Thank you so much for reading.

Today's song is "Penny Royal Tea" by Nirvana  
BYE!!!!!!!