Jack ;_:

HEY!!!!!!
Good morning, you guys. I miss the hell out of Jack today, even more than usual. I was listening to their new song last night and it made me feel really happy at first, and so proud to even know him. I started feeling really bad knowing he isn't here and seems totally happy thousands of miles away from here. Again, it's just this shitty feeling of missing someone I know doesn't miss me. I love him, and want him to reciprocate, and he isn't going to.

He seems so  perfect and I'm nowhere near perfect, so I can't really blame him for not wanting to settle for a girl like me when he could have a much better girl. I really liked how genuinely happy he seemed when I said I liked his band's music, and how humble and grateful he was that I gave them a chance. He could have been a presumptuous asshole about it and said something like "Yeah, girl; you're going to love us. We're the best band in the world!" I was grateful he didn't go that route, and that we were able to just laugh and chat together for about 20 minutes after he'd convinced me to buy their EP.  I might have started talking to him because he's a gorgeous guy, but that isn't why I'm still in love with him. I love how well he understands me and how much we have in common. I didn't see that coming when I first met him, though that was definitely a pleasant surprise. I'm still so happy to even know him  and to love him, but I wish he felt the same. I really wonder sometimes if at the beginning of our relationship he liked me, but I'm too chickenshit to ask him that. I'm just probably overthinking everything again, but I can't help myself. I hate feeling this vulnerable and weak when it comes to him, I'm totally at his mercy emotionally speaking. I had a bit of crazy non-girlfriend jealousy again yesterday, some girl was bragging on Facebook about how well she knows him, yet she couldn't spell his name right. What the hell is wrong with her? I hate how crazy I get when it comes to him, too. I was listening to their EP again, and am so sure I looked like an idiot. I look like Hachi here every God damn time

 I hear him play, I just can't seem to help it. I wish my emotions didn't play so clearly across my face all the time, he knows the effect he has on me. Okay, I've talked about him this entire time, but I started thinking a lot about him and I and everything that's happened between us since we met. It sucks so much to think the first guy I've really wanted to be with in years doesn't reciprocate my feelings, and most likely never will. I don't know if I kind of set myself up to be hurt again or what, but I don't like how things have turned out here either way. I think that's it for today, thank you so much for reading and getting me past the 55,000 page view mark.
Today's song is "Hear you me" by Jimmy Eat World
BYE!!!!!!!!