God damn it.....

HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hate to sound like a petulant little girl or something, but I'm so pissed that I won't get to go to Jack's show. Part of me realizes I shouldn't be putting up with his shit any more, but I still wanted to go. I got insulted when I told Mom a little about him, and towards the end of our conversation she said I won't find "anyone worthwhile" here. So she hates him already, and hasn't even met him. I can't believe her. It just really stings to hear her say it, you know? This is why I wanted to avoid telling her or Dad anything about him. I still have some stupid sense of loyalty to him. I really don't know how they'd all fit into my life, or how it could possibly all work out. I don't know why I keep rehashing this problem in my mind. To be fair, Jack got shoved aside by my family and other friends every time. Maybe I just wasn't making enough of an effort with him, you know? Fuck, maybe there isn't one single reason for this. I don't feel like I really want to be done with Jack, though I'm not sure why. I've said I was done with him before. I wonder if he'd make me more of a priority if I made him one. Maybe Jack isn't the guy I'm going to marry, but I don't know why we can't fucking at least be friends. Okay, part of me definitely doesn't want to let go of him without giving it a real shot. I really came to love him. Okay, this is getting really old. I've had the same God damn argument with myself too many times to count. I found out this guy I've been chatting with on Vampirefreaks and Facebook is married. >_> He didn't tell me that until now. I think I've just gotten myself into another shitty situation I have no idea how to get out of. It's not like we were flirting or anything, but I thought that it was weird that a married guy would tell another woman how pretty she is. I have to be really careful with him now, right? I just won't say anything that could be seen as flirtatious. >_>  Though it seems pretty easy to say something totally innocent and have it seem like it means something more. After all, that's what happened with Trevor and Craig. I'm going to switch subjects now, and say that I already miss Heather. She left for California yesterday, and it sucks. It pisses me off that she's gone and I'll probably never get to see her again. I guess that's it for right now.
Today's song is "People=shit" by Slipknot

BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!