Obviously, I've got work fairly soon. I'm taking this time to just chill and write for a while so that I'm calm and rested for the craziness that is my work. I'm really looking forward to Jack's show this weekend, I need a fucking break. I'm so stupid, I still get nervous talking to him. My heart fucking pounded when I saw that he "liked" when I said I was coming to his show, after knowing him for almost 3 God damn years. I know that it's not really that important, but it means something to me. Mark said he still wants to come with me to this show, as a "bodyguard". I keep trying to explain to him that I don't need him looking out for me, but I'd be lying if I said it weren't really sweet and deeply appreciated. In a way I don't think he really trusts Jack with me, though I'm his older sister. I deny and stuff my feelings down as much as I can, but I can't hide what's in my heart from someone who knows me as well as he does. I wish my feelings didn't play over my face so easily when it comes to Jack. There are times when I wish I didn't have these feelings, as I'm fairly sure they'll never be reciprocated in any serious manner. I mean, sure he likes me in some way, but he also likes about 100 other girls just as much and that's no good. He'd have to only love me, you know? God, it's crazy; I was never this possessive or protective with Camron. I never should have dated Camron, and
I should have told Jack how I feel about him immediately. >_> Too bad it's too fucking late for that. Oh well, I guess. I've talked a bit more with the guy who hit me up on Vampirefreaks, he's awesome. He even fucking cosplays!!! I think he and I have a hell of a lot in common. Too bad he lives on another continent. I guess that's it for right now. Thanks for getting me past the 21,000 pageview mark, btw. ^_^ Love my readers!!!!!
Today's song is "Gone with the sin' by HIM
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