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Monday, August 6, 2012

Blue Monday

HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry about the rather depressing tone of my second to last entry. I just felt overwhelmed and didn't quite know how to handle it. I'm feeling a little better now. I felt overwhelmed because Jack's really insistent that all his friends show up to their upcoming show, Mark was bitching that I don't spend enough time with him, Cassie needed help planning a trip for her and her best friend, Mom wanted to bitch about Dad some more, and Megan wanted to tell me every little detail about a show she went to see a few days ago. I hate it when all this shit happens at once, and I'm probably never going to be good at coping with it. To top all that off, Cory showed up drunk again at my place that night. >_> I know he's better and smarter than this deep down, so why the fuck does it keep happening? I was half asleep already when I hear this knock at my door. I go to see who it is, and in stumbles Cory with a six pack in his hand. I really wanted to chew him out, but just don't have the strength. I'm just tired, you know? I know I shouldn't get mad that people want me in their lives and want my help and advice, but it gets so overwhelming when everyone wants or needs to talk at once. I start to wonder if they only ask me because they know I won't refuse, and they know I'm the kind of person who'd do almost anything for her loved ones. God, I need a break. I hate how some of the people I know who are married with kids kind of make fun of me because they think since I'm single and childless that I have no responsibilities. I don't make a point of bragging about all the shit I do to help others, or the fact that I've been taking care of my family in my small way since I was fucking 12. I was more of an adult by the time I was 14 than most of them were at 21 or 22. I don't think that gives them any right to criticize me. Okay, I need to switch subjects. I'm definitely looking forward to Jack's show, I need the break and really want to see him again. I'm looking forward to going to Canada, too. Again, I need a break. I want to have the release and happiness that I get at a show. I was really happy that Jack invited me again. I also smile at the knowledge that one of my friends who's older than I am went to Warped Tour, it makes me feel less old. I guess that's really it for right now.
Today's song is "Unbroken" by Black Veil Brides
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!

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