Down with the sickness...yet again

HEY!!!!

I was right when I said I thought I was getting sick, again. My body always seems to give me some little preview of what's to come before hitting me with full on symptoms. So right now I'm in bed, hating this. It means I won't get to go Jack's show, so I had to reject him again. It's unbefuckinglieveable, isn't it? God fucking damn it. I don't know if he really gives a shit that I'm there, but it means something to me. I'm wondering if there's going to be an 11th invitation from him. I'm just so pissed that my own body is keeping from doing something I've wanted to do for weeks. Maybe with the extra work I've been doing, I wore myself down too much; ironically I did it so I could go to this fucking show. I'm just going to bitch for a while and get over it. Maybe this is some kind of sign that Jack and I aren't really meant to be together. I need a fucking hug. >_> I have to add that Heather got a job offer in San Fransisco and is taking it. I guess her older sister is living there and has been bugging her to come join her, and even found her a job. I know we'll keep in touch through Facebook and e-mail, but I hate having her taken away after only 3 or 4 weeks of friendship. I did get to go to a little going away party for her though, she made pancakes and we drank a lot of coffee. This whole thing has gotten me thinking that maybe Jack was never the guy for me in the first place, you know? Think about all the times I've felt really bad and insecure about myself because of him. I'm even thinking of deleting him from my friends list on Facebook, and just trying to forget him. I can't forget him, but maybe I could get over him. He's probably thinking I'm not worth his time either. I mean, you ask a girl somewhere 10 times and get shot down 8, what would you do? I'm still clinging to some feeble hope in the back of my mind that it means something that he kept asking, but it's getting harder and harder to convince myself. I guess that's it for right now.
Today's song is "People=shit" by Slipknot

BYE!!!!!!!!!