Good morning, everyone. Welcome to my new follower, as well. ^_^ I'm really happy Jack and the guys will be home tomorrow. I always have this stupid image in my head of what it's going to be like when we meet again, but it never turns out like I want it to. I envision something like this, but never get it.
Those are words I've been dying to hear from him for years, and words I've said to him more times than I care to admit. I hate so much that once again, I've given my heart completely to a man who doesn't want it. I must have either the worst judgment or luck in the world. I don't know what I'm going to do about him. Thinking about it just makes me feel worse, and I'm not in the mood to cry this morning, so I'm going to change subjects. I had the most amazing conversation with my mom the other day, it was nice to be honest and open with her again. She told me that someone thought she and one of her male friends were together, and that it kind of shocked her because there's absolutely nothing like that going on between them. I told her I know exactly how it feels, and that it's unfair to the woman to assume there's something else going on simply because a man and woman spend a lot of time together. I know everyone I've told about Jack thinks that about us, and it often pisses me off. It was very nice to have a conversation this open and honest with her and for once not feel like I can't share my true thoughts and feelings. I was playing a little more of Jack's band's music for Mark and telling him a little bit about Jack, and again it was so nice to be honest and open and not feel like I have to hide anything. I think I've mentioned that two of my friends are getting married, and I've been invited to
the weddings, but I'm not sure if I should go. I'll be uncomfortable without a date, and I'm certain people will be asking me when I'm getting married and I just don't want to have to deal with that anymore. It's kind of funny that Jack and I agree getting married early is stupid, I don't know if either of us really ever wants that. I've also been invited to my friend Cassie's graduation from Graduate school. She wants to be a teacher. These are important moments in my friends' lives and I know I shouldn't miss them, I feel like a wuss for even considering not going. I feel kind of terrible even thinking it, because they want me to be there. All right, I'm going. I have to be there for them or I'm going to ruin my friendships with them. I think that's it for right now. Thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is " Your betrayal" by Bullet for my Valentine
BYE!!!!!!!!
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