HEY!!!!
Good morning, everyone. I got another invitation from Jack to come to one of his band's shows in a few weeks. He said "I'll give you the ticket, all you have to do is show up. Please come." I didn't want to tell him no, but I never want to. I'm a little flattered he's even still asking, to be honest with you. The show is on a Saturday night, so it wouldn't be a bad time. I miss him, but wish he wouldn't be so insistent. He said again how lonely he is, and that made me feel bad, but I think that's what he wanted.
I don't want him to feel rejected, because it's painful. I'll probably just tell him I'll go so he'll be happy. I'm so weak when it comes to him. I hope it actually does make him happy. I want him to love me, but I want to be able to trust his motives too, and now I'm even more confused than I was before. I just wish that if we were going to be together we could be and things would be simpler. Things have gotten so fucking far out of hand with us that it isn't even funny anymore. Part of me wonders why I was so willing to accept him into my life knowing very little about him at the time. I trusted him completely when I hardly ever trust anyone like that. I felt the same way about Mike. I accepted them both with perfect love and perfect trust, just as they accepted me. That's part of it, they were pretty willing to accept me as I am and I couldn't resist that. I got a message on Facebook from Mark saying he'd found out about something I'd really like, with this picture attached. He Said "Let's not pretend you don't have a crush on Itachi. I found a life sized Itachi statue at this place called J-World in Tokyo. Weren't you going there, anyway?" That kid knows me far too well. I am totally going there, I think my first full day in Tokyo.
I can't deny I had a big, stupid smile on my face when I saw that. I think that's all for today. Thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is "Wait and bleed" by Slipknot
BYE!!!!!!!!
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