God damn it....

HEY!!!!!!!
Cassie asked if it's okay to bring her boyfriend along to Danny's birthday party, and I don't know what to do. The decision has basically come down to me, and I hate that I've once again been forced into the middle of something I wanted no part of in the first place. I talked to Mark and Danny, and they both seem to think it's a bad idea. I love those two more than I can say, I swear to God no one understands me as well as those two guys. I really don't want him to come along, since Cassie is the only one who knows him and this is supposed to be a strictly family thing. This would be kind of like me bringing Jack to Danny's birthday party. I wouldn't do that unless I were engaged to the fucking guy or something, I just think it's going to be really uncomfortable and the entire time he's going to be sitting there and judging us. What really sucks is that Mom doesn't seem to understand my objections to Cassie's boyfriend coming along. >_> How can she not get this? All right, I'm just going to tell Cassie I don't want her boyfriend there. I don't care if she's mad at me, I just am sick and tired of being placed in the middle all the time. Mike's grandma's funeral is going to be on Monday, poor guy. He said at least she got to live a long and happy life, which is really all anyone can ask for. She was 100 years old, so that in itself is pretty amazing. I miss Mike and Jack. I still really wish Jack reciprocated my feelings, you know? We'd be so cute together.

  I don't know why I keep reopening this old wound, it's so stupid to keep harping on this subject when I know it changes nothing. I hate that so much, even though I know there's nothing I can do. I'm still angry that I've been forced to make this decision, because if I say no, which I'm going to, it makes me look like a bitch. Why should I care about Cassie's feelings though, when she so rarely thinks of mine? Because I'm supposed to be a better person than that, right? Why do I always have to give in or give up when everyone else gets to do and say exactly what they want? I think that's about all for today, I don't think I'm going to write tomorrow. Danny's birthday party is tomorrow, and I'm going to be there for him if no one else. Thank you so much for reading, love you guys.
Today's song is "People=shit" by Slipknot
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!