Back...again

HEY!!!!!!!
I'm still not happy, but I'm trying to focus on something other than Jack for a while, at least. I'm feeling a little annoyed with my mom again, and I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but wish she would think about how she says things before she fucking says them. She doesn't seem to realize how much some of her comments can hurt my feelings, and she doesn't know how hurt and fragile I'm already feeling. I feel like one giant raw nerve right now and hate it. I feel sometimes like I can never do anything to meet with her approval, and she always has to be right. Why can she never see things from my point of view? I know a lot of girls have this problem with their moms, but knowing that doesn't necessarily make me feel any better. I think in a way, she's part of the reason my self esteem is so low. I never fucking criticize her like she criticizes me. She criticizes my language, clothes, music, and friends. I don't know how many times I've tried to tell her I have a right to do, say, and think what I want. I also have a right to be myself, even if she doesn't always agree with that. I'm not doing anything to hurt anyone, except myself emotionally, but that's none of her business.  I just hate this feeling. Jack's band's put out a new song, and it's amazing. I say this not as his and Mike's friend, but as someone who truly loves their music and is still in awe of the beauty of what they can create together. I hate that Jack can still make me feel like this; I smile stupidly, my heart pounds, and my face is flushed. He didn't need anything more than his smile to steal my heart away, and I think he knew that. I wish I hadn't left myself so open with him, and that I hadn't gotten hurt for letting him in. I don't think even now he realizes just how rare it is for me to truly want someone in my life and to let them know me, and how much he's hurt me. I have to say once again, it's funny how often his own words could be used against him, some of the words he's written could be taken directly from my mouth. I think that's it for today. Thanks so much for reading, I love you guys.
Today's song is "Snuff" by Slipknot
BYE!!!!!