I'm so relieved to get back here finally. Sandra's still in a coma, which makes it about 3 weeks. I know there've been cases where people have come out of comas just fine after much longer, but it still scares the shit out of me to think she might not. I know I'm kind of being selfish when I say I'm scared for her, but I can't help it. I'm scared for her parents and older brother, too. I think I need to switch subjects or I'm going to start crying. I miss Jack like fucking crazy again. I finally got him to talk to me but he refuses to say he likes me in so many words. I think at best he just likes having me around. I thought this guy's smile looked uncannily like his, I love it. I don't know what to do about him, though. I don't want to wait around for him to decide if he likes me or just wants me around in case he can't find a better girl. This brings me to another point, I'm almost 28 and am going to be alone (again) on Valentine's day. I don't necessarily have to be alone, but I'd rather be alone than be with a guy just to say I'm not alone. I want to be with Jack, but again if I can't be with him, then I don't want a guy. I want to have this cute kind of relationship with him. I really wish I did. I don't know why he's the only one I really want to be with, but he is. I hope you don't think I'm being unfair to the other guys who've hit on me by not giving them a chance. I know part of it is that Jack is simply way better looking than they are, but it's more than just that. He makes me feel like I belong and he makes me laugh. 
I know it's stupid that I'm forgiving him all his bullshit so far, and maybe he doesn't deserve it, but it's my choice to do so. I know it means something that he's told his friends about me and they've accepted me, I just don't know for sure what it means. I'm sitting here right now, listening to my coffee brewing and waiting for him to either text me or start chatting with me on Facebook. You have no idea how much I want to just speak to him. I'm going to be so fucking busy this coming week, and Thursday is mom's birthday, too. I ordered her a cake and Mark and I picked out a couple of presents for her. I won't be here next Saturday morning because I'll be working. My boss kind of forced another client on me. I don't know why people seem to like to pile so much shit on my shoulders that I feel like I might collapse. I was talking to Cassie again, she wants us all to go see Cirque du Soleil in Paris when we get there. I hope we can still get tickets, it seems a lot have already been sold out. I need to figure that out too, in addition to where we're staying. I don't know why it falls to me to do this shit, but it seems it does. >_> My stomach hurts from stress, I think it's only a matter of time before I have an ulcer or something. I think that's really it for right now. Thanks for reading, love you guys, ^_^
Today's song is "Kirisute Gomen" by Trivium
BYE!!!!!!
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