HEY!!!!!!!!!
I just saw Jack again, and he totally acted like nothing happened yesterday. I have only one question for him. What the fuck? What was all that soul-bearing that he was doing yesterday, then? Why does he then retreat as if ashamed of it or something? I don't seriously know if I'll ever understand him. He sure as hell got me to feel sorry for him, though. Am I really stupid for letting him get to me yet again? I can't wait to hear their new song, I'm dying to hear it. 
The all too familiar strains of Jack's guitar and voice woke me up again this morning, and I had a dream about him. Obviously, I couldn't get him out of my head. I'm going to have to bite the bullet here and just be honest with him and myself. I wanted to feel like an idiot for feeling the pity and love for him that I do, but I can't quite bring myself to do that. I have to remind myself that he's been hurt, too. He does also get hurt, so I shouldn't just beat the shit out of him verbally like this. I do wish his vulnerability and honesty would come in more than just these weird little flashes, though. I wish I knew if he still thinks I'm "pretty" too, even with the dyed hair. It's actually kind of this color, I love it.
I just don't know what to make of him, sometimes. Part of me thinks I should be more understanding, but another part of me wants him to try to understand me as well. I'm hoping that if we spend more time togther and get to know each other better, we'll get there, but I don't know. I also don't want him to quit asking me to shows, if that happens I'll be really sad. It's just nice knowing that I'm wanted there, you know? I really should have told him I love him months ago, it's too bad I'm such a pansy. Well, whatever happens, this is not going to be an easy relationship. I should take a minute now to thank my 2 new followers, holy shit; that's awesome. I'm glad people are reading my bitchy little rants about my guy problems, I'd say that's a good 85-90% of what I write here. I'm happy to have you reading. ^_^ I just wanted to write more about what's fairly quickly becom
e my favorite subject, Jack. I wrote a quick Christmas message on Facebook to my family and friends, saying how special they make me feel and how happy I am just to have them. ^_~ Subtle, right? I don't know if he'll get that when I say they make me feel special, I mean him. Probably, he isn't stupid. I guess that's it for right now. I want to wish you guys a merry Christmas, or a happy Yule, if you're Wiccan. Thanks for reading.
The all too familiar strains of Jack's guitar and voice woke me up again this morning, and I had a dream about him. Obviously, I couldn't get him out of my head. I'm going to have to bite the bullet here and just be honest with him and myself. I wanted to feel like an idiot for feeling the pity and love for him that I do, but I can't quite bring myself to do that. I have to remind myself that he's been hurt, too. He does also get hurt, so I shouldn't just beat the shit out of him verbally like this. I do wish his vulnerability and honesty would come in more than just these weird little flashes, though. I wish I knew if he still thinks I'm "pretty" too, even with the dyed hair. It's actually kind of this color, I love it.
I just don't know what to make of him, sometimes. Part of me thinks I should be more understanding, but another part of me wants him to try to understand me as well. I'm hoping that if we spend more time togther and get to know each other better, we'll get there, but I don't know. I also don't want him to quit asking me to shows, if that happens I'll be really sad. It's just nice knowing that I'm wanted there, you know? I really should have told him I love him months ago, it's too bad I'm such a pansy. Well, whatever happens, this is not going to be an easy relationship. I should take a minute now to thank my 2 new followers, holy shit; that's awesome. I'm glad people are reading my bitchy little rants about my guy problems, I'd say that's a good 85-90% of what I write here. I'm happy to have you reading. ^_^ I just wanted to write more about what's fairly quickly becom
e my favorite subject, Jack. I wrote a quick Christmas message on Facebook to my family and friends, saying how special they make me feel and how happy I am just to have them. ^_~ Subtle, right? I don't know if he'll get that when I say they make me feel special, I mean him. Probably, he isn't stupid. I guess that's it for right now. I want to wish you guys a merry Christmas, or a happy Yule, if you're Wiccan. Thanks for reading. 
Today's song is "A Devil for me" by the Balck Veil Brides
BYE!!!!!!!
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