HEY!!!
I want to thank you guys for reading again. ^_^ Over 7,000 page views, holy shit. I'm crazy busy as always, it seems. It's pouring rain right now, but somehow I feel happy about that. 
I feel almost guilty for having so much fun on Christmas, and having people who love me to spend it with. Jack told me he ended up spending it alone, and I felt horrible for him. I wondered why he wasn't with his family, and where the hell all his friends had gotten to when he needed them. I didn't ask, and he didn't tell me. I can't believe he let me in again like that, I feel kind of honored. I'm trying to think if I've been as forthcoming with him. Probably not. I keep noticing how much I keep to myself, even when I try to let other people in like I tell myself I should. I wanted to tell him I felt sorry for him, but I don't think he just wants to be pitied, I think he wants to confide in someone. I want so badly to be that someone. It's not that I don't understand loneliness either, you know? What's funny is I thought his family was basically perfect, they seem so happy from what I know of them. I wanted to tell him he can reach out to me, too. I think he finally gets that. I feel happy that he talked to me about this, and sad that it happened. Okay, I talk about him too much. I ran into Craig again yesterday and actually took a few minutes to talk to him. He also told me some things that made me feel sorry for him. I'd rather pity than be pitied, you know? Anyway, I tried being nicer to him, too. I told him we could be friends if he wanted to. I have to admit, I dug the fingerless gloves and black nail polish he was wearing yesterday. 
He looked something like this, only not as pretty. He told me that he's writing a novel and might actually get it published, which I admit is pretty damn cool. I admit to a certain degree of jealousy, there, though, too. Unfortunately, he's also a former gang member. How do I find these people? I laugh to think that my newest friends are a bunch of wannabe rock stars and a former gang member. There's a reason I often keep my family and friends separate. I'm not saying that they're not decent people, I'm just saying that my parents would both have heart attacks if they saw me with them. Even though I'm an adult, I still worry this much about what they think. I know my mom likes most of my friends, at least the ones she knows. But that's because most of them are kind of nerdy girls. Whatever, I guess. I'm hoping that this kind of odd collection of people will be there for a long time. I have a lot of friends who are anime/manga geeks like myself, and music geeks, but not all of them are goth. I'm one of only a few that still dresses the part. Sadly, I know that's partially why I still constantly get mistaken for a high school girl. The other part is, I just look younger than I am. I know this look probably isn't "age appropriate" anymore, but damn it, it looks good on me and I'm comfortable in it. I guess that's it for right now. Thanks again for reading.
I feel almost guilty for having so much fun on Christmas, and having people who love me to spend it with. Jack told me he ended up spending it alone, and I felt horrible for him. I wondered why he wasn't with his family, and where the hell all his friends had gotten to when he needed them. I didn't ask, and he didn't tell me. I can't believe he let me in again like that, I feel kind of honored. I'm trying to think if I've been as forthcoming with him. Probably not. I keep noticing how much I keep to myself, even when I try to let other people in like I tell myself I should. I wanted to tell him I felt sorry for him, but I don't think he just wants to be pitied, I think he wants to confide in someone. I want so badly to be that someone. It's not that I don't understand loneliness either, you know? What's funny is I thought his family was basically perfect, they seem so happy from what I know of them. I wanted to tell him he can reach out to me, too. I think he finally gets that. I feel happy that he talked to me about this, and sad that it happened. Okay, I talk about him too much. I ran into Craig again yesterday and actually took a few minutes to talk to him. He also told me some things that made me feel sorry for him. I'd rather pity than be pitied, you know? Anyway, I tried being nicer to him, too. I told him we could be friends if he wanted to. I have to admit, I dug the fingerless gloves and black nail polish he was wearing yesterday. 
He looked something like this, only not as pretty. He told me that he's writing a novel and might actually get it published, which I admit is pretty damn cool. I admit to a certain degree of jealousy, there, though, too. Unfortunately, he's also a former gang member. How do I find these people? I laugh to think that my newest friends are a bunch of wannabe rock stars and a former gang member. There's a reason I often keep my family and friends separate. I'm not saying that they're not decent people, I'm just saying that my parents would both have heart attacks if they saw me with them. Even though I'm an adult, I still worry this much about what they think. I know my mom likes most of my friends, at least the ones she knows. But that's because most of them are kind of nerdy girls. Whatever, I guess. I'm hoping that this kind of odd collection of people will be there for a long time. I have a lot of friends who are anime/manga geeks like myself, and music geeks, but not all of them are goth. I'm one of only a few that still dresses the part. Sadly, I know that's partially why I still constantly get mistaken for a high school girl. The other part is, I just look younger than I am. I know this look probably isn't "age appropriate" anymore, but damn it, it looks good on me and I'm comfortable in it. I guess that's it for right now. Thanks again for reading. 
Today's song is " Wait and bleed" by Slipknot
BYE!!!!!!!!!
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