I heard something very interesting yesterday, and I'm not sure if I believe it but I want to. I heard Jack and his girlfriend broke up a few days ago. I don't think I can ask him point blank, and want to hear it from him personally. I realize it be would an asshole thing to do to break up with a girl a few days before Valentine's Day, but maybe she broke things off with him. Part of me has to ask what the fuck I think I'm doing, sitting here and hoping I have another chance to be with him. I just can't seem to get over him, I swear I've tried. He's practically everything I've ever wanted in a guy, and he understands me so well, I think that's a big part of what makes it so difficult to let go of him.
I swear to God, I never thought I'd meet a guy who understands me like this and takes me just as I am. I thought I met a man who understood me when I met Camron, but he was lying to me and putting me on. Jack has never lied to me about anything, and he isn't putting me on. God damn it!! I just wish we could be together if we were meant to be, you know? Mark actually asked if I was going out with him yesterday, and I wish so much I could have said yes. I miss him so much. I've tried to stifle my feelings for him as much as possible, but I could never deny or hide everything I feel. When I brought him that cupcake, and drank hot tea with him with honey and lemon, for example. I thought "This could easily be everything I ever wanted, I could happily just stay like this for the rest of my life." God damn it. I need to hear it from him. I think that's for today. Thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is "I don't love you" by My Chemical Romance
BYE!!!!!
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