Good morning, everyone. I've been doing a lot of thinking and haven't really come out ahead at all. I don't have any more answers now than I did before and am still just as confused as ever. I was talking to my friend Sierra about guys, and she said her boyfriend told her he'd be okay if she got pregnant, only now she is and he dumped her and wants nothing to with her or their child. I fully admit that my problems with guys pale in comparison to hers, but it could just as easily have been me. She said "At least you were smart enough not to get pregnant, I should've been more picky with guys." Then we started debating if there even are any decent men left, and decided it was pretty unlikely. But now I'm afraid that if I give in I could be in the same boat she is. I have to give Sierra credit, she's handling it really well. The problem is, I don't know if any of the guys I could date are really good boyfriend/husband/father material. I have mentioned that most of the guys I know are assholes, right? God damn it. I had a conversation like this with Cassie and a few more of my friends a little while ago too, I guess I should be glad I'm not the only one who thinks and feels like this. I think I should move on to a lighter subject. I did some more Christmas shopping, and finally feel like I'm ready. Good thing, considering I only have three more fucking days left.
I had no idea how much fucking planning it takes to just have a nice Christmas. I'm not surprised Mom's been relieved the last few years when Cassie and I did everything for her, it's a lot of work. I have tomorrow, Tuesday, and Wednesday off, and it's God damn nice to have that little break. I needed it, and actually feel like I earned it. I wish I could fully relax, but that doesn't seem to be an option for me any more. At least I get to sleep a little more. ^_^ I guess that's all for today. Thank you so much for reading. Love you guys.
Today's song is "Blood" by My Chemical Romance
BYE!!!!!!!!!
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