First of all, thank you for more than 70,000 page views. Holy shit, I did not expect that. I've finally found out what's been bothering Jack lately. He said their record label took more money than originally promised to distribute their album, so for a while at least he's going to have to go back to working a day job. His girlfriend told him she might be leaving him on the same day. Poor guy, I didn't know what to say to him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him I still love him and would be there for him, but couldn't. I shouldn't even be thinking about this, but I can't help it. I'm really looking forward to seeing him at his party. I'm going, of course. Their new album is amazing, and doing well for the first release by a relatively unknown band on an indie label. I haven't seen him this sad since his grandpa died. Mike texted me last night, said he would have called but had been crying and didn't want me to hear it; his grandma died and he already misses her so much. They're good guys, they deserve so much better than this. I feel really bad for Cory, I think he's really depressed but won't tell me what's going on. I'm worried because he seems to be depressed enough to be suicidal. I can't tell you how much this scares me, and I don't want anything to happen to him. I love him, but sometimes I don't think he believes me when I tell him that. Have I been too harsh on him about his drinking and maybe made him feel like I don't care about him or something? He's been pushing me away a lot lately, and I don't like it. I just want to make sure he's all right. I've been checking in with him, but I can't be there all the time. He thinks I baby him too much as it is, so this isn't going to help,. I don't care if he's mad at me for babying him, so long as he's alive to be mad. God, I've made myself depressed now. God damn it. Cory told me not to tell anyone how shitty he's feeling, but I don't want to keep it a secret if something is really that wrong. I've had these kinds of feelings before, but someone or something was always there for me to keep me going. I want to be that someone for him if he'll let me. This is the most depressing blog entry I've ever written, sorry. Mark is coming over in a little while to carve pumpkins, and I don't want to be all mopey when he gets here. I love AFI's new album, "Burials." I know I'm a little biased since they've been my favorite band for nearly a decade, but it's a fucking awesome album. Cassie invited me to her college graduation in May, and I'm kind of honored because I didn't know if she'd want me there. We're still not as close as we should be. I think that's for today. Thank you so much for reading. Today's song is "Deep slow panic" by AFI
BYE!!!!
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