Sad and confused

HEY!!!!

I posted briefly on the Facebook page for Jack's band that I'm going to their show on Sunday, and the day after I posted that it seems he posted "Yay!" I swear to God, I do not fucking understand this guy. I don't think he was being sarcastic, and I really hope he wouldn't go that far just to hurt me again. Does that at least mean that he cares that I, specifically, am there? It seems they're also going to be filming their first attempt at a music video at this show, and they and all the people there are going to be in it. Crazy, right? That puts a shit ton of pressure on them to do their best, and to look their best, but it seems the fans will also have to clean themselves up nicely. I'm even more nervous about it now, it was scary enough knowing just Jack was going to be there. I'm confused so much by him, I kind of want to go talk to him, but I don't know if I really should. I kind of thought that we had formed something of a bond at least. I think that if someone creates something, and lets someone else read, listen to, or see it, that creates a bond between them because the creator has let this other person in on a certain part of themselves that not everyone gets to see. For example, it was really hard to let other people read anything I'd written for the longest time, I even had reservations about letting my family read it. It's immensely gratifying, though, when I let someone else in like that and they tell me they love what I've written. It was really cool, too, when my 6th grade teacher told me a story I wrote for his class almost made him cry. I think it's amazing to be able to have an affect like that on another human being. Okay, on to other topics. ^_^ I will have to go into where Jack works tomorrow. I need some more make-up pretty badly, and they only sell my favorite kind of eyeliner there. I wonder if he'll joke about the eyeliner incident if he's there tomorrow, I kind of hope so. I went swimming again yesterday, God damn swimming rules. I wish I could go again today, but I'm totally posting this on my lunch break. I guess it wouldn't be so fun if I went every day, but that doesn't make me want to go any less. At the very least, Cassie and I are hanging out later on. I actually miss my sister, I love that!!

I'm amazed we were able to work on our relationship, honestly. I'm so glad we don't fight anymore. I just want us to be friends, though I know our best friends are like our non-biological sisters, and that's cool, too. I'd better get going, my work won't do itself. It's not that I hate my work, just certain parts of it. Like the parts where the 60-70 something guys hit on the 20 something caretaker, who has to tell them politely to go to hell. I guess that's it for right now. Thanks again for reading, please keep it up.

Today's song is " Rabbits are roadkill on route 37" by AFI

BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!