who freaks if there are too many other people on the bus or in the grocery store or something. This place just seems to have a natural calm, and I want that to rub off on me if at all possible. I do worry a bit about how I'll react to Tokyo, especially at first, and more so because my sister needs me to not freak out the first time we walk out onto the street. I hate that she's relying on me so much, but after almost 19 years of that, I should either be used to it or have broken her of that habit. I kind of think my whole family's come to rely on me a little too much, a day doesn't go by where I'm not needed to go somewhere with or do something for one of them, and it gets so exhausting after a while. Damn the fact that I'm capable!!!!! ^_~ I am serious about that though, I've rather become the family errand girl, and I hate that. I guess I should be glad that I'm good to have around and good company, but at the same time I'm dying for a bit more free time. For the longest time, I've been almost like my friends' counsler too, which can also be pretty terrible. I'm not saying I don't like that people need and trust me, often that makes me feel good, but I need a break from it too, much more often than I get. If I didn't love them all as much as I do, I wouldn't put up with it, trust me. Sadly, they could pretty easily use the fact that I love them against me. >_> I should hope that they wouldn't do that, but guess I can't entirly rule out the possibillity. Okay, enough about that. Honestly, it's probably my own fault for letting them put on this on me, if only because I'm probably the only one who'll listen. My aunt in Austria just found out about our trip, and I think she's really excited for us. I hope so. Normally she's really understanding and supportive, so I didn't expect anything bad from her, and I didn't hear anything bad. I kind of wonder what my grandma and cousins will think though, and what my dad would think if he knew. My grandma will probably think it's good for me to do some more traveling, and my dad would probably think I'm just like my mom, always wanting to go somewhere new. I didn't mention that my parents are divorced, right? I guess it's because I hardly even think about it anymore, and I've gotten so used to living without my dad around that he doesn't factor into most of the choices I make or even my daily thoughts most of the time. It's better for them to be apart, and I think getting married was probably not the best choice for them, anyway.
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