September already ...

HEY!!!!!

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back here again. I'll be losing a couple of my clients at work in about a month or so, they're moving to other cities where their families can take care of them. It's a good thing, I think; their families seem to really want them with them. I know of at least one new client I'll be assigned when I actually have time to work for her, so I'm not too worried about work. I am a bit worried about Jack, though.  He's just been really pissed off the last few times I talked to him. He said some of his friends haven't really been there for him like they're supposed to. I couldn't help but wonder if he meant me, because I was a no show at so many of the shows he invited me to. He didn't mention any names, but I really wonder if maybe deep down he is still mad at me. I tried to explain to him all the responsibilities I have and he seemed to get it, but maybe that wasn't really how he felt. If he's pissed at me, why would he bitch to me, right? He and I are both pretty deeply cynical and have trust issues, so I should know to be more careful with him. The only good thing I've heard him say is about his friend's band. He said I should check them out, and they're really good. I have to say again that if it weren't for music, I'd have no friends at all. >_> I've been feeling kind of isolated again, though. I ran into Craig at the record store again a few days ago after work and for the first time since I met him, he didn't have the whole eager puppy thing going on. He was with a couple of his friends( a guy and a girl) so I'm wondering if maybe that had anything to do with it. I was almost praying the girl was his girlfriend, but I kind of doubt it. They sure as hell didn't look like a couple. I hope he won't ask me out again. I hate to say so, but I really don't know if I could have a boyfriend right now. I always seem to have so many other things to deal with, largely because of my family. I seem to push Jack away every time he wants me around, and we're just friends. Am I a bad friend for doing that? What hope would we have as a couple if I can't even make it to his shows? God damn it!!!!!!! What's even worse is that Mom was kind of prowling my Facebook page yesterday, and saw his picture in my friends list. She said "This is your"friend"? He's kind of short and skinny, isn't he?" This short, skinny guy is one of the most amazing (and gorgeous) guys I've ever met. Fuck, why is it so hard to say that to his face? Obviously, since Mom doesn't have a very high opinion of his looks, I think that lowers her opinion of him personally even more. Throw in the fact that she doesn't approve of what he does, and it adds up to her basically hating him when she barely even knows his name. I've been talking a little more to the guy who hit me up on Vampirefreaks, and it's still weird knowing he's married. I'd never intended anything to happen with him, so why do I feel like maybe I shouldn't talk to him? He always calls me "hun", and I don't know if I should allow that, either. I haven't talked to Cassie in about a week, I'm still hurt and angry. But how could I not be, right? I don't want this to ruin our relationship, but this hurts me so much. I need some time to get over this. I guess that's it for right now.
Today's song is "This time imperfect" by AFI

BYE!!!!!!!!!