Ouch..again

HEY!!!!!!!

I got kicked off of my former friend Melody's Facebook friends list, ouch. I can't believe this, she and I had been friends since we were in junior high. I knew our relationship had become kind of strained over the last few years, but I never thought it had become so bad that we couldn't even be friends on fucking Facebook anymore. I was at her wedding for fuck's sake. I don't know, maybe that's part of it. She doesn't think I'm a real adult because I'm not married and I don't have kids. I just feel really bad right now. I know I'm partially to blame here, I should have made more time for her. I really considered her one of my best friends, even though we didn't talk very much for a while. I just thought she'd be too busy with her kid, husband, and job to really want to spend any time with me. Maybe I should have at least invited her to have some fucking coffee with me or something. I tried talking to her, to make it up to her and she said there's really nothing I can do; we've simply grown apart too much. This sucks so much. I can't believe I've lost another fucking friend. I've got to make more of an effort to keep what few friends I still have. For example, I got a Facebook message from Jack yesterday, and immediately answered him. I'm so God damn glad he's still talking to me, but I worry every day about losing him, too. I swear, it's not that I haven't made an effort to keep in touch and stay close to the people I love. Sometimes, it's just impossible to reach out to everyone. Maybe the problem is with me. I know eventually I'm going to have to "grow up" and get married and all that shit, but there's still SO much I want to do on my own before that happens. Okay, I need to calm down. On a totally unrelated topic, I've started watching the "Black Butler" anime, it's awesome.  I totally dig Sebastian. I really do watch too much anime, but I love it. I've been considering just going all otaku one day when I have some free time, and getting a bunch of anime shit. Then, I think to myself that there are a lot of other, "better" things I could be doing with the money I'd spend on anime shit I don't really need. That sounds a hell of a lot more like Mom than me, though. I think she's influenced me way too much. I love her, but it's hard to keep her voice out of my head when I'm making decisions sometimes.  I still have some issues with her too, obviously. I really don't know sometimes who's really to blame when it comes to issues with family and friends. I'd like to think it's a 50/50 split and that both parties could be equally at fault, but I don't know. I really hope Mom knows how much I love her, despite our issues and differences of opinion. I guess that's really all there is for now. Thanks so much for reading. ^_^ I can't tell you how awesome it is that anyone gives a rat's ass what I think or have to say about anything.
Today's song is"The Beautiful People" by Marylin Manson

BYE!!!!!!!!!!!