New post ^_^

HEY!!!!!!!!
I'm glad to be back again. I'm glad that Jack isn't pissed anymore, but now he's depressed. He won't tell me what it's about, either. I'm worried, he used to tell me things like this. I want to comfort him, but he doesn't always like it when I do that. He only wants comforting sometimes, you know? I don't get guys. >_> I know there are people who've been there for him a lot longer and a lot more than I have, so I don't blame him for wanting to go to them first, but it hurts. I guess I really haven't been there for him enough, God damn it. I'm not deliberately a bad friend, I swear. I hope we can still work on this. I hope he'll listen if I try to explain again. Although, the explanations always just sound like excuses. To be fair, there are people who've been there for me a lot longer and a lot more than he has, too. But I don't know if I've ever made his day like he's repeatedly made mine. I know he doesn't always like mushy shit like this, either, but I love it. I think he and I are a lot alike emotionally. He totally still has self-confidence issues too. You'd think those would go away after reaching adulthood, but in some ways my self confidence issues have just gotten worse. I hope he doesn't think I was just making excuses not to go to his show when I said I got sick and couldn't go. I didn't think he'd want to see me pucking so I just said I got sick, and told him not to come over. You can imagine how embarrassing it would for me if he saw that, right? He'd never fucking want to date me then. >_>

I really do hate how we've been kind of keeping each other at arms' length the past few months, I miss his gorgeous smile when he saw me. God, I wish I could see him now. Fucking tour!!!! I hope they get back soon. I really try to be understanding, but it's hard to buld a realtionship with a guy you never fucking see. I hope he at least knows how much I miss him. I'm still not talking to Cassie, I don't even know what to say to her. I wasn't technically supposed to know that she invited us as a back-up after someone else bailed on her, but her best friend let it slip. Should I just confront her about it? I hope if I do that we can work things out. I guess that's about it for right now.
Today's song is "She devil" by Megadeth

BYE!!!!!!!!