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Saturday, December 8, 2012

I need a hug

HEY!!!!!!
I really feel like I need a hug right now. I'm really happy and really sad at the same time. I'm happy because things are going amazing at work for myself and Jack; and sad that I haven't seen him in months already. His band's probably going to have a record deal by the end of this year, which is amazing. I'm terrified once he's all famous, he'll forget me. I still find it fucking incredible that I even know this guy, to be honest with you. I can't believe we met almost 3 years ago. I find it kind of sad that the best I can hope for is a raise at work while when he works, he gets people cheering for him and girls falling all over themselves for him. How is it that I still feel unworthy of him? I don't even know. I had to be really happy and encouraging when he and Mike called to tell me about it, but I sincerely hope they don't know I was kind of faking it for their sakes. I'm afraid to lose more friends, and I don't know if they really understand how much their friendship and mere presence in my life has meant to me. I also feel like a sad little woman who has nothing but work in her life, and neglects everyone and everything she truly cares about for its sake. I feel like I should go to Japan and visit my cousin who's working there, but I know I can't. The client I told you about who got into a horrible accident is home now, and I'm going to be working for her again Monday. Obviously, I couldn't leave someone who just got out of the hospital.>_>  I miss my family, too. Mark is kind of pissed that I told him I could only help him with his homework once a week, I'm just too God damn busy. He has a right to be angry, believe me. I promised him I'd help, and don't want to flake out on him like this. I think I'm going to have a problem with that guy I told you about last time, who sent me that message on Facebook. I get a new message from him every day, and I keep telling him I'm not interested. I feel like it was a mistake to contact him at all, I need to quit doing that. I guess all it takes to make a guy think I'm interested is sending him a friend request on FB. I knew he had something of a crush on me in high school, but that was such a long fucking time ago I thought he definitely would have moved on by now. I don't feel like I'm worth waiting 8 years for, you know? I guess that's really it for right now. Thanks for letting me vent again, love you guys.
Today's song is  "People=shit" by Slipknot
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!! 


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