I've had another really long but interesting week. As you might have guessed if you've read some of my previous posts, Jack's invited me to another of his shows. I can't believe he's invited me to that many shows. I'm happy, don't get me wrong; I'm just afraid I'm going to have to shoot him down again. It also kind of bugs me knowing he's invited hundreds of other girls who look just like me, and could probably take his pick of most of them. >_> At least this show is on a fucking Friday night, good timing for once. I really want to watch them play again, and just see Jack's face again. I really want to be special to Jack, because he makes me feel special. I really don't feel like that though, with the knowledge that hundreds of other girls just like me are going to be there fawning over him even more than I am. I fucking hate this, I don't know what else to say. I also think I know him a lot better than most of these other girls, and understand him better. I don't know, I just think it has to mean something when we've felt and thought the exact same things at the exact same time so often. He can be so oblivious sometimes, especially after I finally told him how I feel. Okay, if that's really how I feel maybe I should suggest that we do something else, more one on one. I did say here a while ago that I don't give a shit what we do together, so long as we do it together, right? Okay, enough about him for right now. Cassie's coming down to see me today, and might be spending the night on my couch again. It's fine if she does, but she damn well better be nice to me. I'm obviously not over being a stand-in for someone else. Maybe I just get hurt too easily. I know I take a lot of things too seriously and personally, but I can't help it. I guess it's water under the bridge now, but I was still really hurt by it. Okay, another new subject. I've been working my ass off this week again, and am really enjoying sitting here and writing and drinking coffee. I really like Jessica, the new girl I've been working with. She and I both have the same intense kind of work ethic, and I'm glad. I'd like to go to Jack's show just to blow off some steam, to be honest. I think he at least senses when I need that, the invitations always come at the right time. I have to admit, I have a great time dancing singing and cheering at his shows. Okay, another random change of subject. Mark and his girlfriend are doing well, so far. I hope it works out for him. I guess that's really it for right now. Thanks again for reading, and checking out my pictures. Love you guys. ^_^
Today's song is " This time imprefect" by AFI
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