SO sorry I've been neglecting this again. First of all, I'd like to offer sympathy and support to the families of the victims of the massacre in Aurora, Colorado. One of my friends lives there, and I don't know what I would have done if she'd been killed or hurt. It's also really weird because another friend of mine went to a midnight screening just like that one, but a local one. I'm SO glad he's all right, too. I love my friends and family, as I've said a billion times before. Sarah seems to be all right; though again, I suspect that's just a facade for others' benefit. I feel really stressed out again, I just can't seem to relax at all anymore. I hate when Mom will seem to be requesting that I do something, but really she'll more or less be ordering me to do it. She's kind of passive-aggressive, you know? I should be above all that shit by now maybe, but it's hard. If I decline her "request", then I end up feeling guilty and terrible. I have no idea what to do this, I don't want someone else running my life for me, but then if I say no I feel like I did something wrong. I generally dislike saying no to people, probably because I'm overly polite. I get annoyed and angry when I feel like I have to go along with her, though. I think I need to switch subjects now. Jack's band's doing great, I'm really proud and happy. I know I didn't really have anything to do with it, they got there because of their own talent and desire to succeed. I'm just glad to be their friend and to have had the honor of knowing them before they were rock stars. ^_~ Just kidding, they're not quite rock stars yet. ^_~ At least not in anyone's eyes but mine. I like the whole sharing thing we do, he'll share his music and I'll share my writings. I also love knowing that more than once we've felt and thought the exact same things. I obviously miss him so much it's pathetic, yet again. I just wish he missed me, too. Okay, I need to switch subjects again. Cassie came over and stayed the night Friday night, it was actually fairly fun. I'm glad she doesn't make me feel like she's judging me with every word she says anymore. I loved how we sat around and drank coffee Saturday morning, too. This is the kind of relationship I wanted to have with her from the beginning, you know? I feel bad for all the years we wasted fighting and being mean to each other. My emotions threaten to overwhelm me again, God damn it. Sorry, I need to relax. I guess that's it for right now.
Today's song is " Prelude 12/21" by AFI
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