Relief!!!!

HEY!!!!! I actually feel somewhat better today, I'm not stressed about my sister anymore. It seems they've officially rejected her, and in a way I'm relieved because none of us have to worry about it anymore. I'm not exactly relishing the fact that I'll most likely be the one who has to break the news to her, though. I mean, what do I say? "Hey, Sis; sorry but you're not going to school in Austria." I might say exactly that, actually. It seems to be the gentlest way to say it, all the while being honest. I really hope she doesn't take the news too hard, though. I do love my sister, and I know this is something she really wanted to do. I hope she'll be okay, I want her to be happy. I have a little good news, our Canada trip IS happening, and I'm excited. We should be leaving next Saturday, super early in the morning. For once, I don't mind an early morning. I'm just glad to be doing something different. I went and bought the Paradise Lost dvds I was talking about in my last entry, and there was a super hot new cashier working the register. He looked a little like a slightly younger, shorter, less buff and tattooed version of Davey Havok, and he seemed to be flirting with ME. My middle brother and I had been hanging out, until he had to leave for work, so I was really glad he wasn't there to see me flirting with this guy. It's not that I don't still have hope that Jack likes me, but I haven't seen him in a long time, and I don't know when or if I'll get to see him again. I don't even know that Jack likes me, where as Ryan, as I found out his name is, really seems to like me. I probably made a total moron of myself in front of him, too, I'm afraid. I looked up at him looking something like this.
I guess that's just my normal reaction to an attractive guy, I'm sure that I'll look at Jack the exact same way when/if I get to see him again. It's strange, I almost feel like I'm somehow being unfaithful to Jack by admitting that I like Ryan, too. I feel strange being interested in 2 guys at the same time, too, trust me. I actually kind of know Jack, where as all I know about Ryan is his name and that he this amazingly gorgeous combination of blue eyes and black hair. They're the only guys in a city of about 30,00 that I would date, so it's a toss up between them. I've had the most God awful luck with guys, so I'm still not sure I even have a chance of anything serious happening with either of them. Every guy I've ever felt anything for so far has turned out to be a total loser asshole, and now I'm afraid of doing something else I'll regret later. I have 3 other guys that I know are interested in me, to the point where the seem to turn up at my favorite stores, the library, and even on the bus. I know it's not they're outside my place at night or anything, but it's still TOTALLY CREEPY to be looking for something, or talking to someone, and then they just show up. I don't know many times I have to reiterate that I'm not interested before they understand, but I hope it sinks in VERY soon. I guess that's it for right now, I have to go crush my sister's dream of studying in Austria now. BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!