Busy week, movies, games, and a girls' trip?

 HEY!!!
Good morning,everyone. It's been another fucking busy, six workday long week. Part of me really does feel like I need a break. I'm really anticipating "One Piece Burning Blood" which comes out on Tuesday. I'm still making progress in my dating sims, "My Candy Love" is still way slower and annoying to progress through, though. I think I've fucked things up pretty badly with the guy I was going for too, so I might have to switch tactics. Mom and Cassie made it home safely from Austria, and it was so great to hug them when I picked them up at the airport. Mom told me that Julia and my cousin Marie want to go to Tokyo with Cassie and I. In theory, this sounds fucking great but it's a logistical nightmare if you factor in the fact that we'd be coming from the U.S and Julia and Marie would be coming from Austria. Not to mention, there's no way in hell you're going to fit four women and all their bags into one tiny Japanese hotel room. It would be Julia and Marie's first time outside their country too, and they'd be going very far from home by themselves. It doesn't faze me anymore, but it can definitely be a little sketchy being a woman traveling alone, or even women traveling together. Cassie and I fell asleep in the L.A airport coming home from our trip to Japan in 2010 and I awoke to find guys just staring at us; woke Cassie up, grabbed her hand, and booked it away from them. Nothing happened, but it was creepy as shit. Even last year, I got hit on in literally every airport and plane I was in. I'll never forget the security guard as soon as I walked into the line to board my first plane telling me I was beautiful and he loved my Goth Harley Quinn look. >_> I don't want to freak them out, but they should be careful. That being said, I'd still go back in a heartbeat and would love to share all the good parts of traveling with them. They particularly want to go anime, game, and manga goods shopping and I can oblige. I would love to  hear their opinions on male characters I like and just do the stupid, stereotypical thing where a bunch of girls talk about guys. I don't honestly do that very often, even just talking about anime guys. Of course,we'd all need to save up the money for this trip if we're really going and think seriously about what we want to do. I'm worried in a way that Cassie might not want to do the anime thing as much as we do and I don't want to leave her out. I think that's it for now.
Today's song is " The Heretic Anthem" by Slipknot
BYE!!

World Goth Day, girl gaming, and relaxing

HEY!!!!
I had a really good time swimming and relaxing yesterday. I think it helped a lot to have slept as much as I did, I was a lot more focused on our game when Jessica came over to play XBOX with me I like to play dating sims when I'm at home by myself, but I like to play fighting games and RPGs with her and other people. I'm really glad my apartment building has an indoor pool, it's still too cold to swim without the protection of an enclosure. It's windy and raining outside, so it looks like I'll maybe take another swim for exercise then come back and catch up on my dating sims. I've noticed I usually find the guy I like in these games immediately. I know they're kind of silly, but I truly enjoy them. I would say that I'm going to dress up for World Goth Day, but I always dress this way. I can't help that this look still works for me and is the most comfortable. I'm hoping everything is going well for Mom and Cassie in Austria, I haven't heard from them in a few days and get stupidly nervous because of it. I'm sure they're all right and are just busy, I need to learn to trust that others are all right without me just like I'm all right without them. I really want so badly to go back to Japan again, even if it is by myself. I think I do need to learn to take care of myself better too, and not just always worry about everyone else. My cousin Sabrina sent me a picture of herself wearing contacts that look like Sasuke's Mangekyo Sharingin, which made me think of Itachi, of course; so we got into a discussion of which is better. Sadly, she's a Sasuke woman and I'm an Itachi woman. Long story short, she's going to send me contacts that look like Itachi's Mangekyo Sharingan, which is fucking cool, but I'm terrified of putting anything near my eyes so it's going to be little bit of an adjustment getting used to them. I SO love having my geeky girls to share shit with like that. I think that's about it for now.
Today's song is "Friday, I'm in love" by The Cure
BYEE!!!!!

 

Finally quiet after a busy week

HEY!!!
I'm already starting to regret taking on the extra client that I agreed to take care of, I'm so tired. I had my gaming session with Angela, Jessica, and Julia last night but Julia heard me yawning through the microphone on my headset and suggested we call it a night. Angela is pregnant, and agreed pretty easily, but Jessica wanted to keep playing so she's going to come over after lunch and we'll play together. I guess this schedule helps a little bit not to think about Jack, but it's very difficult to find time to do other things that I want to do. Mark, Danny, Cory, and I wanted to go to a comic convention last Saturday but three of the four of us had to work and spent all day wishing we were somewhere else. I might not think about Jack as much now, but that doesn't mean I don't still miss him and want to be with him. I just hope I won't be stuck on him for much longer, yeah right. >_> I want to go swimming today too, I think it's going to be good for me. I miss Mom and Cassie and am so glad that they're going to be home in six days. I think I will go swimming now.
Today's song is "Saku" by Dir En Grey
BYE!!!

Fun with friends, new music, and gaming

HEY!!!
I've had another insanely busy week, This is my one day off, and I have to drag my ass back to work tomorrow, At least I'll be able to work with Jessica, I had her over to play some games yesterday after work and it was awesome. I've needed a break, and it was good. I mentioned  a band named Babymetal to her, and she HAD to check it out, so I played a couple of songs. She LOVED it. I was honestly kind of hesitant to listen to their music for a while, it just didn't seem like my style. It's nothing against them personally, and I've gained a respect for what they do. I listened to some of it though, and loved how much I understood without help and the meaning of what Su is usually singing about. Their lyrics are definitely easier to understand than Dir En Grey's, and while I don't like all of it, I liked some of it. I apologize too for not giving them a chance. It made me happy to think maybe my Japanese doesn't totally suck, I think I'm finally gaining a better understanding of it.Mom and Cassie are in Austria, they got the late last night. Mom and Dad have been kind of worried about me- Mom doesn't think I eat or sleep enough and Dad is worried that I work too much. For the record, I.m fine- I just need a good break.  I can usually bounce back after a day or two of taking it easy. I think that's it for now.
Today's song is "Megitsune" by Babymetal
BYE!!!!

A good week

HEY!!!
I'm doing all right, finally. I'm so glad to feel happy at all again. I just had a great gaming session with Angela and Jessica, Julia couldn't make it. I miss Julia, but Jessica and Angela are awesome.  I'm trying to do anything but think about Jack lately, I miss him still but it does no good at all to think about him since I can't be with him. I even took on more hours at work, though I think that was a really stupid idea in retrospect. It's going to be such a pain in the ass working more, and I now wish I hadn't decided to do it. I thought that this would help to be busy enough that I don't really have time to think of him. It's ironic when I think about it, part of the problem with Jack and I was me working to much. I really don't want to work more but I keep hoping that it'll be good for me at least temporarily to be able do something but think about him. I'm going to be celebrating Cassie and Cory's birthday with them and the rest of my family tomorrow and it's going to be great.  I think that's about it for now.
Today's song is " Uroko" by Dir en Grey
BYE!!!!

  

A nice, relaxing day...

HEY!!!
I actually managed to have a good day yesterday, and I'm hoping today will be just as good. I'm playing dating sims still and it's weirdly relaxing, and so much fun. Of course, I try not to think about how I don't have a real man, but this is still a really fun diversion. I've noticed that it helps me not to think about all the real shit going on for a while if I can just play a game or watch an anime. I still really miss Jack, of course. I was so happy to see Mom doing better though, I could at least lighten up somewhat after that.I like to think that I can do without Jack if I absolutely have to, but I can't do without my mom. I listened to his band's new song again, and Mike's voice is so beautiful.  There's still this tiny little part of me that wonders what the fuck either of them were doing with me, I STILL don't feel like I deserve them. Maybe that was part of the problem with Jack and I; I couldn't bring myself to believe that he would ever fall in love with me like I'd fallen in love with him. I pushed him away so much because of my job and family, but also I never really believed he'd love me. I'm pretty much convinced he felt something at first but whatever interest he had I crushed because I never gave him the time and attention he needed or wanted. I hate thinking if I'd been more available we might be together now. It's funny that I find myself still questioning if I love his band's music so much because I love him, or if I'm really capable of being objective when it comes to him. Cory and Cassie's birthday is tomorrow and I'm glad I'm going to be able to hug my little brother, I really want to. We're all going to watch "Captain America; Civil War" next weekend, and I'm so excited. I wish I could find a quick and easy of purging Jack from my heart and mind, but I just can't. I still cry sometimes when I think about him, and how I fucked up a relationship with such an amazing man. I never told him shit like that of course, which just adds to the mountain of things I did wrong here. I think that's it for now. Thank you for reading.
Today's song is "Devil's Night" by Motionless in White
BYE!!!