HEY!!!!!!!!!
I have some time to write, so I figure what the hell, I might as well. I wanted to write about Saturday night's show. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! This is approximately what Jack looked like, only better. He has a surprisingly hairy chest. ^_~ Oh, well. He plays SO beautifully, and seems so calm and happy onstage. I love watching him, especially when that look comes over his face as he plays. I, sadly, didn't look half as cool. I totally spazed out, though I don't think anyone really noticed. They weren't watching me, you know? I hope he doesn't mind that I'm a total geek and spaz under the cool, standoffish goth exterior. I looked something like Usagi-chan here, and I hate myself for totally losing my cool like that, again.
Anyway, I had a great time. I totally chikened out when I had the chance to hang out afterward, I suck. I think the singer for his band's at least seen me before, it sure as hell looked like him hanging out the window of a car that sped past me, grinning and waving in a totally dorky manner. I wonder if Jack was driving, and told him to wave at me. Please, God, tell me it was. It wasn't Jack's car, I know that. Jack's got a pretty nice little green Toyota, not a crappy little rusted orange hatch-back. Anyway, I know Jack's got something of a dorky side, too, he just controls it better than I do. I guess I better get to the more serious stuff I'd intended to write about when I started to write. I chose today's entry title because talking to my brothers, Mark and Danny, and listening to Jack's music have really helped me gain some perspective on all the crap that I've been attempting to work my way through lately. It helped me realize I've been a total pissy, whinny, immature little bitch about basically everything, and I shouldn't behave like that. I'm better than that, and if I keep it up, I may as well kiss the few people who love me goodbye, because they won't want to be around me if I'm like that. I want to thank them for making me feel better, understanding me, and simply giving me a way to vent my feelings. I love you all, guys. In different ways, naturally, but I DO love them all. I tend to internalize everything, until it just explodes, usually on someone who doesn't deserve it. That person, in this case, is my mom. I totally read her the riot act yesterday, and I feel terrible. I love you too, mom. I'm sorry. I just have trouble processing all this shit at once, I still do, and I have to learn to deal with it properly. I hate feeling like so much is happening at once that I'm about to drown in it. That's one of the reasons I wanted to see Jack's band play, it kind of gives me a sense of release and calm to listen to music. I was happy just to be one in the crowd, cheering, singing, and screaming my heart out with everyone else. I absolutely understand why Jack does this, it's one of the best stress reducers ever. I guess I can deal with it now, I just always freak out over everything. My grandma's like this, and she's actually put herself in the hospital she got so freaked out over stupid little things. I DO NOT want that to be the next 50, 60, or whatever years of my life, you know? I HAVE to do something about this, NOW. I guess that's all for right now. Thanks for reading. This really is my last entry for this week, at least. I plan on being back asap. I also plan on going to see Jack's band again, and going swimming. 
Today's song is "Precious" by Depeche Mode I LOVE it!!
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