Relationships, wtf?
Hey!! I'm sorry it's been a little while since I wrote, I'm kind of busy. I chose the title of today's entry because of a few things that I've been thinking about lately, and I'm still confused about. First off, my best friend texted me pretty early Monday morning to tell me she and her husband are getting divorced. I'm not totally surprised, I guess, because of all the times she's complained to me about how immature and irresponsible he is sometimes and how unequal their relationship's become, but I really didn't know it was to that point. In the end, it's probably for the best; I know it was in my parents' case. It does still suck pretty badly, though, at first I thought they had the whole domestic bliss thing going on, but it didn't last. The other thing that I've been mulling over in my mind, is what are Jack and I now? I don't know if he considers me a friend, or if he really feels anything for me, and I hate it. It kind of reminds of the song "Morning star" by AFI, where Davey sings "Am I your anything?" I'd really love to ask Jack that, but I'm too chickenshit. I'm always kind of afraid to hold out too much of myself to people, I'm terrified of getting hurt. I had my baby brother over for a bit yesterday, and he saw the EP that Jack's band made, and asked "Who the hell are these guys?" Normally, I have no problem telling this kid everything, but all I could do this time was mutter lamely that they're a local band and I happen to be friends with one of the guys in the band. I also kind of mentioned that I started listening to them as a favor to a friend, if I didn't care about him, I wouldn't have bothered. Thankfully, he sparred me the boyfriend jokes. ^_~ This is exactly WHY I tell him things, he doesn't give me crap about everything. I kind of wonder though, what his impression of us would be if he saw us together. I really don't want to make any more of this than there is, I want to spare myself as much pain and humiliation as possible. I honestly wonder sometimes how other people do it, relationships always seem to get so complicated, especially if everyone involved really cares for one another. Maybe I'm just a little immature emotionally, I don't know. I'm hoping I get to see Jack again soon, and maybe answer some of the questions I have . I've also been kind of questioning my job choice lately, I basically take care of elderly people in their homes, and sometimes I love my job, but others it just sucks ass. One of my people makes fun of my vegetarianism, while another told me that I didn't get to go and see my boyfriend (I'd been telling her a little about Jack) until I was done working. I hate bitter, mean old women. They had no right to say any of those things, and it pissed me off. I guess that's it for now. I might be writing again tomorrow, though. Thanks for reading, and please keep it up. ^_^ BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey!! I'm sorry it's been a little while since I wrote, I'm kind of busy. I chose the title of today's entry because of a few things that I've been thinking about lately, and I'm still confused about. First off, my best friend texted me pretty early Monday morning to tell me she and her husband are getting divorced. I'm not totally surprised, I guess, because of all the times she's complained to me about how immature and irresponsible he is sometimes and how unequal their relationship's become, but I really didn't know it was to that point. In the end, it's probably for the best; I know it was in my parents' case. It does still suck pretty badly, though, at first I thought they had the whole domestic bliss thing going on, but it didn't last. The other thing that I've been mulling over in my mind, is what are Jack and I now? I don't know if he considers me a friend, or if he really feels anything for me, and I hate it. It kind of reminds of the song "Morning star" by AFI, where Davey sings "Am I your anything?" I'd really love to ask Jack that, but I'm too chickenshit. I'm always kind of afraid to hold out too much of myself to people, I'm terrified of getting hurt. I had my baby brother over for a bit yesterday, and he saw the EP that Jack's band made, and asked "Who the hell are these guys?" Normally, I have no problem telling this kid everything, but all I could do this time was mutter lamely that they're a local band and I happen to be friends with one of the guys in the band. I also kind of mentioned that I started listening to them as a favor to a friend, if I didn't care about him, I wouldn't have bothered. Thankfully, he sparred me the boyfriend jokes. ^_~ This is exactly WHY I tell him things, he doesn't give me crap about everything. I kind of wonder though, what his impression of us would be if he saw us together. I really don't want to make any more of this than there is, I want to spare myself as much pain and humiliation as possible. I honestly wonder sometimes how other people do it, relationships always seem to get so complicated, especially if everyone involved really cares for one another. Maybe I'm just a little immature emotionally, I don't know. I'm hoping I get to see Jack again soon, and maybe answer some of the questions I have . I've also been kind of questioning my job choice lately, I basically take care of elderly people in their homes, and sometimes I love my job, but others it just sucks ass. One of my people makes fun of my vegetarianism, while another told me that I didn't get to go and see my boyfriend (I'd been telling her a little about Jack) until I was done working. I hate bitter, mean old women. They had no right to say any of those things, and it pissed me off. I guess that's it for now. I might be writing again tomorrow, though. Thanks for reading, and please keep it up. ^_^ BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!
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