Feeling a little better

HEY!!!!

I'm feeling a little better again today. The only thing that's really bothering me right now is that Mom said she isn't feeling well. I think it's because a friend of hers died a few weeks ago and she took it a lot harder than she wanted to let on. I tried to tell her things will get easier, but it still hurts a year after Jon died. I don't know how helpful I can be talking about the loss of a friend when I still cry talking about him. I'm trying to relax as much as possible this weekend with video games and binge listening to Dir En Grey. Jamie and I were listening to their latest album, Arche, and it's fucking great. I love Kyo's voice, the difference between his high and low notes is amazing. I know I've gushed about them here before, but they fucking deserve it.I love how some of their music is so beautiful and haunting and then they'll just go straight up death metal and pull both off. I'm still hurting over Jack too, I can't lie. I'm just trying to tell myself I'm going to be better off without him. That's a bit like telling a flower it'll be better off without the sun, you know? I know I'll quit hurting eventually but I don't know what to do in the meantime. I still miss him. I have to believe this is for the better, though it damn sure doesn't feel like it right now. I'm kind of afraid I won't want to open my heart to another guy after him, and I hate that. It took me years to get over Rob and Camron and I don't want to wait years more for my heart to stop hurting after this. I need to make some kind of changes in my life, I'm just not sure what yet. I've organized another gaming session tonight with Angela and Julia and actually really looking forward to it. I love that I've gotten Julia into Dir En Grey, too. I guess Lynn was right when she said I influence  other people. ^_~ I think that's it for now.
Today's songs are "Drain Away", "Dozing Green", "Uroko", "Ain't Afraid To Die", and "Vinshuka" by Dir En Grey
BYE!!!!