New year ^_^

HEY!!!
Good morning and happy new year, everyone. I had an amazing Christmas and a great New Year's Day. New Year's Day was a lot more chill than Christmas, but both were incredibly fun and awesome. I'm starting to feel better, but this cold is not gone yet. I think I've been pushing myself a little too hard again and it's just finally catching up with me. Jack invited me to another show in a couple of weeks, and I'm not sure I'll be able to go. My friend Jerid also invited me to a few parties, and I seriously doubt I'll have time for either. I feel horrible telling either of them no since they're some of the nicest, most incredible men I know. But again, my job and family have to take priority over fun. I still kind of hate myself for bailing on these guys again, though. I feel like I should have learned some secret to making all this shit work by now and I'm just stupid because I have no idea what to do half the time. I love all these people, and have very little time to ever really spend with them. Mark said something about how sorry he is that he always hangs around me and how much I get roped into helping our mom. I don't mind, in fact I love hanging out with Mark, I just wish I had more time to do everything I want and need to do. I had another argument with my dad, again about why I'm not married. I swear to God I'm done talking to him about this. He said he doesn't want to me to be lonely, but I think he just can't give up the notion that I'm "supposed" to be married by this age. I'm seriously not sure I'm ever going to get married and he's going to have to learn to live with it. I hate the idea of him acting like he has any right to tell me how to live, too. Mom doesn't do that and she actually does have that right because she's always fucking been here for me. Like I said before, I love my mom endlessly, no matter how we might disagree or how much she might annoy me sometimes. I also hate that Dad made fun of Jack, the one guy I'd really like to be with. I don't think he'd really approve of any guy I dated, let alone Jack. Yet, Jack knows and understands me better than Dad. I need to clam down. Mom is leaving for Austria tomorrow morning, and seems really excited. I think she needs a break and to spend time with her mom and sister. I can't imagine how much she must miss them sometimes. I think that's it for right now, thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is "Torch Song" by AFI
BYE!!!!!!