Birthday party, coffee, and needing peace and quiet

HEY!!!
Good morning, and happy (almost) birthday to me. I can't believe I'm almost 31, though I don't look it. I had to plan this birthday party for tomorrow because everyone is too busy to have a party any other day, which is kind of sad. I've shut my cell phone off for a while, got a good cup of coffee, and just need to have some quiet time with a good game or anime. I wish Jack could spend some time with me on my birthday, but that isn't going to happen.  I know he and I are never going to be like this couple here, and I accept it, but hate it. I feel like I really need to be away from him for a good while and maybe I'll feel better. I even looked into moving to Japan, which is drastic, but there are so many things that remind me of him and so many things I'd rather not think about here. I had a bit of a fight with my dad about why I'm not married, again, and don't really want to be around him either. I hate that he seems to think that's all there is for me in life and I couldn't do anything greater than get married and have kids. I'm not knocking those who've done those things, but I want my dad to realize that it's not for everyone. I can't tell you how grateful I am that my mom doesn't push this shit on me. That's why I can actually talk to Mom about shit, though, she doesn't make me feel like this.She also doesn't make me feel bad for loving anime, manga, comics, and games. I've really liked "Itachi Shinden" so far, but I can't be counted on to be objective when it comes to one of my favorite anime characters of all time.

  I know part of it is the massive crush I have on him that makes me say this, but I also felt really sorry for him. I actually cried when I heard all about his back story and all the things that kind of made him who he was. Needless to say, I hate that he got kind of fucked over by circumstances that were really beyond his control. All right, enough about him. I'm really looking forward to going at least on vacation to Japan again and I was seriously thinking about moving there. The only thing that gives me pause is how much it would hurt my family if I'm not there, especially Mom. I know my parents are getting older too, and I don't know what's going to happen to them. I'm still pissed at my dad,. but I just need to vent and be away from him for a while, and I'll be all right. I know I could always come back, but I really don't think they'd want me to go in the first place. I feel like I really need a chance of scenery, though. I think that's it for now.
Today's song is " Break the cycle" by Motionless in White
BYEEE!!