Trying to heal

HEY!!
Good morning, everyone. I'm just sitting here thinking and trying to focus on the good things I have. Danny texted me the other day asking if I was going to Comic Con on the 31st, and if he and Mark might join me. Again, I said yes. I think is something I need. Like my time spent with Jack, it serves to remind me that I have people who care about me and want to be with me. I need that so much. I still miss Jon, his funeral is coming up. I'm not sure if I can bare that, to be honest with you. For once I'm almost thinking of my workload as a good thing, as it keeps me occupied so much of the time. I find it funny that Jack and my brothers have come to my rescue again, I can't tell you how much I love them and how immensely grateful I am for them. Jack said his band's music helped someone out of their depression, someone who'd been suicidal, and it makes me so happy to hear that. I've said this before, but I absolutely believe music has the power to save lives. I think that's it for now. Thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is " Prelude 12/21" by AFI
BYE!!

Sad day

Good morning, everyone. Do you remember my friend, Jon? The one with cancer? He died last night. He was in another state for treatment so a lot of his friends didn't get to say goodbye to him. At least his family was with him at the end. He was only 28 fucking years old, this seems so unfair and it makes me so sad. It's so weird to think that someone I'd known the better part of my life is gone. I can't even imagine what his family is going through right now. I miss him, he was always smiling and trying to make other people laugh. I really wish I could have said goodbye. The only good thing about this is he isn't in pain anymore, but it still seems so wrong to know he's dead. I still remember him being this silly, grinning blond kid when I met him. God, it's really tough to talk about him without crying. Fuck it, I'm crying like a baby.   I think the last thing I'm going to say about him is goodbye my friend, I love and miss you.

Today's song is "Funeral for yesterday" by Kittie
Bye

So tired

HEY!!!
Good morning, everyone. This has to have been one of the busiest, craziest weeks of my life. Jack asked if I'd like to a show with him, Megan, Mike, and Tori. It's going to be so cool to be at a show with him that he won't have to play. Obviously, I said I'd go. ^_~ I didn't expect  this to come up, but I'm so glad it did. I kind of felt that we needed to do something together, and this is a perfect choice. I think he also felt how stressed out I've been, and wants to help. I've been working so much and it feels nice to have something other than work to look forward to. Mom is safely in Austria and called me this morning, it was awesome. I'm kind of wanting to go on another vacation, but don't have the money right now.  I haven't gotten around to planning or deciding anything yet as far as vacations go, but I'll figure it out in time. I think that's it for right now, thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is "I don't love you" by My Chemical Romance
BYE!!!!!!!!

 

New year ^_^

HEY!!!
Good morning and happy new year, everyone. I had an amazing Christmas and a great New Year's Day. New Year's Day was a lot more chill than Christmas, but both were incredibly fun and awesome. I'm starting to feel better, but this cold is not gone yet. I think I've been pushing myself a little too hard again and it's just finally catching up with me. Jack invited me to another show in a couple of weeks, and I'm not sure I'll be able to go. My friend Jerid also invited me to a few parties, and I seriously doubt I'll have time for either. I feel horrible telling either of them no since they're some of the nicest, most incredible men I know. But again, my job and family have to take priority over fun. I still kind of hate myself for bailing on these guys again, though. I feel like I should have learned some secret to making all this shit work by now and I'm just stupid because I have no idea what to do half the time. I love all these people, and have very little time to ever really spend with them. Mark said something about how sorry he is that he always hangs around me and how much I get roped into helping our mom. I don't mind, in fact I love hanging out with Mark, I just wish I had more time to do everything I want and need to do. I had another argument with my dad, again about why I'm not married. I swear to God I'm done talking to him about this. He said he doesn't want to me to be lonely, but I think he just can't give up the notion that I'm "supposed" to be married by this age. I'm seriously not sure I'm ever going to get married and he's going to have to learn to live with it. I hate the idea of him acting like he has any right to tell me how to live, too. Mom doesn't do that and she actually does have that right because she's always fucking been here for me. Like I said before, I love my mom endlessly, no matter how we might disagree or how much she might annoy me sometimes. I also hate that Dad made fun of Jack, the one guy I'd really like to be with. I don't think he'd really approve of any guy I dated, let alone Jack. Yet, Jack knows and understands me better than Dad. I need to clam down. Mom is leaving for Austria tomorrow morning, and seems really excited. I think she needs a break and to spend time with her mom and sister. I can't imagine how much she must miss them sometimes. I think that's it for right now, thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is "Torch Song" by AFI
BYE!!!!!!