Post Halloween babble

HEY!!!!!!!!!!
I'm glad to be back again. I'm definitely a little sad that Halloween is over, though. I got a call from Mom the other day saying that Grandma isn't doing very well and I'm really worried. I might have to make an impromptu trip to Austria if Grandma doesn't start feeling better. I lost my grandpa in 2006 and am not ready to lose Grandma too. I'm not ready to lose anyone. I know Mom feels guilty for moving so far away, and this lead to an interesting discussion between us. We got to talking about Cassie and I both expressing a desire to move away from here and though Mom seemed to be all right with the idea, I could tell she had misgivings. I could understand not wanting your daughters to leave, especially since I want to move to Japan. Mom said she felt she'd been selfish and felt guilty about having those thoughts, though. I'm glad she realized that, but I don't want her to feel guilty. I know we're all we have and that's our strength as a family. I was so afraid to express my desire to move to Japan or even admit that I'd been thinking about it. My parents are not always the most supportive or understanding people, and aren't likely to want their daughter to move so far away. Sometimes, I feel like that's the only way for me to have a fresh start. I still want that, and I still think Mom wanted a fresh start away from her mom, too. I love Grandma, but she doesn't always treat Mom very well and I see a lot of that reflected in how Mom treats me sometimes. I know Mom feels like she hurt Grandma by moving so far away, but I understand her desire for a new start where she has to stand totally on her own. I talked to Cassie yesterday about her new boyfriend, and she seems really happy with him. She said she isn't going to date the best looking guys anymore because the last 2 she's dated have been absolute assholes who treated her terribly and she doesn't want to go through that again. I totally understand, and told her she deserves to be treated well. I would really miss these little moments of sisterly closeness between us if we did live on different sides of the world. I think if I did move to Japan, Cassie would be the first to visit me. 👯  I think that's all for now.
Today's song is "Drain Away" by Dir En Grey
BYE!!!!!