I finally gave up the ghost on my old computer, it wasn't worth fixing again. I'm loving my new computer so far, but am still a little nervous about using it. I don't want to ruin it like I did my other 2. Jack is getting married in 10 days and I just can't stand to see all the happy wedding and honeymoon pictures that are bound to show up. I finally found the strength to take him off my Facebook friends list, which I know I should have done long ago. I still miss him so much, and it fucking breaks my heart to let him go, but I know for my own good I have to. I guess that's taking a baby step in the right direction, but that doesn't mean it was easy or that it didn't really hurt. I'm also still considering taking an extended trip to Japan, just to get my head right again and help me reevaluate what's really important to me and who's really important to me. I still have arguments with my dad as to why I'm not married, and he still regards me as a failure because I'm not. 😠I haven't told him about kind of going out with Kyle, I'm not ready to unleash my dad upon the poor guy. It doesn't seem fair to Kyle though to pursue anything further with me when I'm still not over Jack and he knows it. I do like him, but I'm afraid I'm going to bring whatever we have down if I don't fully deal with my feelings for Jack first. I really like him though, and don't want to ruin this. 😗 Is it better that I'm finally feeling like I could move on now? That's another reason for my long absence from here, I've been trying to deal with all my emotional shit and put myself back together. I think that's it for now, but I really will try to post more now that I'm doing somewhat better emotionally. Thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is " Zakuro" by Dir En Grey
BYE!!!!
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