HEY!!!

Happy new year! I'm kind of forcing the cheerful attitude right now. I just found out a friend of mine moved without saying goodbye and is now halfway across the country. I just don't get it, I thought we were doing okay, and then she pulls this. I almost feel like I did something wrong, although the only thing I can think of is that I'm not very open or a big talker. I'm not like that with anyone, though, trust me. I hope I didn't drive her away permanently, at least we'll have facebook and e mail. The weather right now totally adds to the mood, it's cold, dark, and pouring rain. I've also been cranking Staind's "Outside" repeatedly, there are very few times when I hear a song and totally understand the emotion behind it, and this is one of them. It's to the point where I can almost ape Aaron's tone, if not hit the right notes, that's how many times I've listened to it. Yeah, I'm a total mope most of the time. The funny thing is, I was a happy little girl. I don't think most people who knew me as a kid would recognize me now, and I don't think many of them would really like the change. This is just how I am now, though, and I don't think I could change if I wanted to. As I was walking back here this guy with long dark hair, also wearing a black trench coat, smiled at me and said "Nice coat". I guess my look doesn't go totally unappreciated, it's just not the look most people go for. ^_^ I remember in my senior Economics class one of the guys who sat in front of me would constantly sing "Outside", and I'd start singing it really quietly with him, and he'd laugh and go "Why am I not surprised that you're probably the only girl here who knows that song?" I didn't really dress "goth" or "metal" or whatever I am then, but I was most certainly already a fan of the music. I feel that it sets me apart from most people, which makes me unique, but it also tends to isolate me from them. If you add that to my naturaly anti-social tendencies, you get a pretty lonely girl. I'm glad that I do have people who love and accept me as I am, though I often feel I lean on them a little too much. Even my family tends to tease me though, saying that I'm either a witch or a vampire, and I try not to take that too personally, though it does bother me sometimes. I am a witch, technically, but they don't know that. I really should go, thanks for listening. BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!