Amazing week

HEY!!!!
Damn, it's been a while since I wrote, sorry about that. I'm really not trying to make excuses, but I've been crazy busy this entire week. I guess I should begin filling you in on what's been going on, then. First off, I fucking finally got a cat. I had to petition my landlord to let me have a cat, and he finally gave in. I'm that much closer to having that perfect little life I imagined, and I'm so happy. My cat is a tabby, and he's really pretty. I named him Oliver after Oliver Twist, a character from one of my favorite Dickens stories. I'm really trying to train him to behave, so my landlord won't revoke his decision to let me keep Oliver here. So far, it's going well, but I've only had him a couple of days. He did wake me up by hoping up onto the bed with me yesterday though, and I couldn't help but love that. I've been hearing nothing but good things from Jack and the guys, except for the fact that it's way too hot everywhere they go. Too bad it's way too hot here, too. They seem to be doing great and having a hell of a time, and that's what's really important. I'm still counting the days until Jack gets home, of course. I really wish I'd seen more of him before he left. It bites that we live further apart now. I really want to brag again about Megan and Hannah, 2 mutal friends of ours who also like Jack's band, but didn't become friends with his bandmates or get invited by him to any of their shows. I know this is petty, but part of me still can't really believe it. I'm just wondering what it is that makes them think more of me. This week I'm also celebrating the 80th pound I've lost. You don't know how hard I've worked to get to this point, believe me. I'm also probably going to be assigned another client at work, which is crazy. I guess that's really it for right now, I'll be back asap.
Today's song is "Welcome home (sanitarium) by Metallica ^_^
BYE!!!!

Welcome home

HEY!!!!!!!

Mom is home, and Mark went with her. It was nice to see her again, but in a way, I'm so glad to have my place to myself again. I couldn't help noticing how she had to knit pick about how I keep my place. I didn't want to start arguing with her right away, so I let it go, but it bothered me. I just felt so small after that, like I couldn't do anything right. The thing is, just because it's not done her way doesn't mean it's done wrong. I hate being treated like that, she has no right to. I admit she has more of a right than Dad to tell me what to do, but still she has no right to tell me how to keep my own fucking house. I also went easier on her because of how Cassie treated Mom in Europe, she apparently bitched her out almost the entire time they were there together. I'm going to forgive her eventually, of course. I have a small reason to smile, Jack posted the lyrics to another of my favorite songs in our ongoing song quote war. God, I love this guy!!!! Too bad I won't get to see his beautiful face again for over 2 months. Okay, I won't even get into how pathectic it is that I miss him so much. I hope Jack and the guys don't do anything else stupid while they're gone and get themselves hurt. It's funny, it seems I've met Jason before and forgot about it. He was there with Jack one day when I went to see him, and I hardly noticed Jason. I apologized for that, and Jason said "No worries, I'm kind of used to girls paying attention to him and not me." That made it even worse. He's met all kinds of new girls, too. I won't get into how jealous I am of them, either. i guess that's it for right now.

BYE!!!!!!!!

  

Good news!!!

HEY!!!!!

I'm in an amazing fucking mood right now, I'm so happy. First of all, Kevin and Sarah are both going to be fine, I'm so relieved. Second of all, Jack's band's come out with another music video, and it's so awesome. I'm obviously still giddy at the thought that he and Mike are my friends, I'm never going to get used to this feeling. I look at the two of them, and think "What are they doing with me?" I have to say again, that I'm going to lose it if we stop being friends, I love them. I'm so glad I met them, for the billionth time. Kevin got released from the hospital the day after he went in, they did some tests on his heart and it's okay. He thought he might have had a heart attack, but it was really a panic attack. I can't imagine someone having a heart attack at 26, but apparently that's what Kevin thought was happening.  That's scary shit though, he really thought he was going to die. Mom'll be home in 3 days. It was really fun having an anime marathon with Mark, and I'm going to miss having him around when he goes back home. It was cute coming home and he'd be there, usually with something for me to eat. I think I kind of understand how Mom felt when I'd do that kind of thing for her. It's a pretty nice feeling. I just wanted to give a quick update here.

Today's song is " Too late for gods" by AFI

BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Freaking out

Good morning, guys.
I really wish it were a good morning, anyway. I'm up so early on a Sunday because I got this text from Kevin saying he's feeling really bad and doesn't know if he's going to make it. He had heart surgery a few months ago, and still has problems with his heart. I guess the reason all this started is because his fiancee left him, and he started getting really depressed and freaked out. He said he was sorry if he hurt or bothered anyone, and would take it back if he could. I really hope he's going to be okay. I told him to try and calm down, since it's only going to get worse if he panics. I don't want to think of losing a friend, I wish I could help him. He said he texted his older sister and a lot of other friends, and that they all told him to calm down. I don't know what else to do, he's in the hospital right now. I have to wait and see what happens, since I can't do anything for him myself. I keep checking my phone and Facebook page to see if his sister can at least tell me something. I'll know when she knows, I guess. It bothers me to just sit here and do nothing when someone else is suffering, but since I'm not a doctor, there's nothing I can do. I should try to think of something else, I know. On a more positive note, everything went great at Warped tour for Jack and the guys yesterday. He had a lot of fun, and of course, got really drunk. I'm not even going to bitch about the drinking or girl chasing today, I'm just happy he's all right. Cory came over yesterday, and even hugged me when he got here. ^_^ ^_^ He said if I want him to, he'll pick Mom up from the airport when she gets home, since I have to work that day. I said that would be a huge help and relief to me, and thanked him. I guess he feels guilty about coming here wasted and possibly getting me in trouble with my landlord and is trying to make up for it. I forgave him, of course. Just like I forgave Jack and Kevin. I'm glad at least that Nate seems to be doing a lot better. I hope Sarah will be okay. I guess I'll have to let you know about that when she tells me. I guess that's really it for right now.
Today's song is "Vanitas" by Dir en Grey

BYE!!!

Worried

Good morning, guys. I'm surprised I have anything new to tell you in a way. I talked to Sarah again yesterday, and she said she'd gone to the doctor and would tell me all about it on Monday. This doesn't sound good, right? She's also still trying to figure out if her suspicions about her husband cheating on her are true. I really hope they're not. I want to know what's going on, but I also realize I can't force her to tell me anything she doesn't want to. Besides, it's not like it's really any of my business if she doesn't want to share with me. I'm glad she's choosing to share with me, however. I'm kind of tired today, yesterday and Thursday were such fucking busy days I barely had time to think. Cory came by randomly yesterday, and I was really glad to see him. At first I thought of telling him he can't just come by unannounced, but if I told him that, he might not come by at all anymore. It seems he and Cassie wanted to go somewhere and have what they call "twin time." In reality, they probably just drank and talked for a while. I'm sitting here with my coffee, glad for a chance to hear myself think for a change. Cassie showed me some of her pictures from Europe, they're amazing. She was telling me how she got to go to the beach, and just relax. It seems she had a hell of a lot of fun. I'm glad for her, she works and studies really hard and deserved that little break. I'm thinking I could use a break myself too. I don't know if I should try going to San Francisco again in the Spring or what, we'll see. It's just so God damn expensive to go to Japan, I don't know if I can really justify spending so much money on a vaction. It would still be fun to go to San Francisco, and relax for once. I guess I'll have to decide once I figure everything out. Today's the first show of Warped Tour for Jack and the guys, too bad they're so far away. Heh, I couldn't go without mentioning him, could I? I guess I'll tell you how everything went when I know. I guess that's really it for right now.

Today's song is "Drag the waters" by Pantera

BYE!!!!!!!!!!! 

Guys...............ugh

HEY!!!!
Sorry I didn't write for a while. I was insanely busy yesterday, and will be again today. I can't believe Jack and the guys have left for Warped Tour already, it sucks. I guess at least I should be grateful that all the shit I have to do today keeps me from thinking about him too much. I also wanted to write about something Mark said yesterday, that when a girl sends a guy a friend request on Facebook, it's worth about 100 friend requests from other guys. I couldn't believe he said that, it seems kind of unfair. I guess he and his friends kind of gloat to each other whenever a girl sends them a friend request, especially if that girl is a gamer chick. I guess it's true, all guys really are the same. I couldn't believe how some of the other girls at Jack's last show were throwing themselves at him, and how he was loving it. I feel in a way like I got fucked over because I'm not that shameless. I wonder though if he would have liked me better if I'd acted like those other girls. I wonder still though why he told his friends about me, and if all guys do shit like that behind girls' backs. To be fair, I told a couple of my friends about him, but he told his friends about me first. I should be happy that he thinks enough of me to tell them about me, I guess. I hope he and the guys will get home safely, though I doubt they're very worried about that. On a different subject, I talked to Sarah yesterday and she thinks her husband is cheating on her. I really hope this isn't true. I'd hate for them to get divorced. She'd be my 4th friend to get divorced if that happned, which is really sad considering we're all still in our 20s. I know she said they've had some trouble before, because he kept trying to meet other women online. Mom gets home in a week, I think Mark and I will have our anime marathon tonight after I get home from work. Speaking of which, I have to get going.
Today's song is "The hand that feeds" by Nine Inch Nails
BYE!!!!!!!

Lonely again

HEY!!!!!
I'm sitting here, wishing Jack were here. It sucks just as much as I predicted it would, and he's going to be gone for weeks. Maybe I'm not really cut out for this, after all. I hate being away from him, yet it doesn't seem to bother him that I'm away from him. In fact knowing him, he's probably hitting on every girl he can. It seems more and more like even if he and I were together, it wouldn't work out. He definitely wouldn't be the monogamous, loving boyfriend I'd want. I had trouble sleeping last night, and got up after tossing and turning for over an hour. I ended up watching all the episodes of Supernatural I'd saved up on my dvr. I have to admit, it was awesome. Still, it would have been more awesome to have Jack around, or to at least be talking to him. I have to say it's not exactly the same, watching gorgeous guys as it would be having one with you, or at least on the phone. I'd love to say the way those two look has nothing to do with why I love this series so much, but that would totally be a lie. Anyway, I got to sleep eventually, though I didn't sleep nearly enough. It's ridiculous that I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about Jack and worrying about him, right? He doesn't want me to, he hates it when people get too clingy, but here I am. The reason I was worrying was that they ended up sleeping in their fucking van, 5 guys cramped into a van with all their gear, clothes, booze, and food. I just somehow think that's a bad idea, you know? I guess they couldn't find any affordable hotel rooms, so that's what they did. I'm acting overly protective again, damn it. I'm glad it was all right and everything, but still, that seems like a bad idea. I think I need to switch subjects now. Mom will be home in 9 days. I think she's actually looking forward to being home, I guess she missed it. Of course, she also missed us. In a way, I think Mark would rather stay with me. I guess Mom's a lot more strict. I'm not too laid back, as you can tell. I just don't want to start getting all knit picky over stupid shit that doesn't matter, so I try to just focus on what does matter. I also think Mark likes it that I know all about the games and anime he likes and can talk with him about it, and mom can't do that. I think mom dislikes that I'm closer to Mark in a lot of ways than she is. What can I say? He and I have more in common. Mark said how much he misses her, so it's not like he doesn't love her. I guess that's really it for right now.
Today's song is "Mourning Sun" by Fields of the Nephilim

BYE!!!!!!!!!!