SO sorry

HEY!!!!
Good morning, everyone. I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get back here again. My laptop is having trouble again and I had to have it fixed. I had a great Thanksgiving, and talked to Jack for a little bit about how similar our respective days were. We both got to our moms' houses early and ended up playing games with our families for hours. I went to another of his shows last night and had such a good time. I'm still so happy he's inviting me at all after all this time and all the shit we've been through together. He said they're working and some more songs and are very close to being finished with them. I can't believe I've known him for almost 5 years now, it doesn't seem that long. I got some horrible news about my friend Jon though, he has a very rare form of cancer and it doesn't seem like he's not going to live much longer. I can't tell you how sad this makes me, I've known this guy since I was 12 and he's dying. I can't really do anything for him either, which just makes things worse. I keep hoping maybe something will happen and he'll beat the cancer after all, but it doesn't seem very likely. I need to switch subjects now before I start crying. I'm very close to being ready for Christmas, I've got my tree ready and a shitload of presents. I think that's it for today. Thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is " Thank you for the venom" by My Chemical Romance
BYE!!!!!!!!

Tokyo pt.2

      Good morning, everyone. As promised, here are some of my pictures from Tokyo. I mostly let my nerdy side take over and did anime related shit. I saw the giant Gundam replica at Odaiba, walked around Akihabara, shopped at Shibuya 109, finally saw Hachiko, and went to J-World.  I think I'm always going to love Shibuya, I was wearing a Totoro shirt while shopping there and so many people said it was cute and they liked it. I am a little pissed that I didn't know about The Mugiwara Store, it's not very far from where I was but I missed it. I'm planning to go back at some point, but I'm not sure when yet.

 

 I wish I'd been able to see Hachiko before, but Cassie said it was stupid and I didn't want to start a fight over it,  so we didn't see it. It was such a beautiful day when I went to Shibuya. J-World was amazing, too. I can't believe I've been home almost 2 weeks already. We're making preparations for Thanksgiving, and I'm going to get my Christmas shopping started tomorrow. I might be going to another convention on January 31st, but I'm not certain yet. I'd like to cosplay if I go. Jamie's birthday was a few days ago; I wrote to him, not expecting to hear back from him since we hadn't talked much lately, but he answered me and I was really happy. Jack also said it meant the world to him that I keep supporting his band and encouraging him. I really want to believe him, I hope he meant it. Things between us are as weird as ever. I think that's about it for today. Thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is "I don't love you" by My Chemical Romance
BYE!!!!!!!

Tokyo ^_^

HEY!!!!
Good morning, everyone. I'm sorry I didn't write from Tokyo but I swear I didn't have the time. For the most part it was an amazing experience and I'll totally be going back. I didn't make it to Tokyo Tower or the Ghibli Museum, so I have to go back. I did have one bone to pick though, and here it is. I spent the better part of a day wandering around Akihabara and wanted to see all the anime shops and the Tokyo Anime Center. I found what I was looking for, but couldn't help but feel like so many of the female characters were being so exploited and it made me pissed off. Yes, I know they have Otomoe Road for the female fans and it was great, but the guys in the anime and manga I found on Otome Road never seemed like they were being exploited nearly as much. Also these two guys kept looking back at me and smiling as we were waiting to get in to the Tokyo Anime Center, which creeped me out. I was also the only girl there alone; one girl went because her boyfriend wanted to go. Otherwise it was all men there.  My favorite day was going to J-World and the Sunshine City Aquarium. I have to admit that as kind of a knee-jerk reaction to what happened in Akiba, I bought up everything I could with attractive guys on it; though the figures of Levi from Attack on Titan and Law from One Piece came fully dressed, unlike the figures of the women from pretty much any anime you can name. Mom told me something that pissed me off to no end when she picked me up from the airport. She told me that Dad said it's stupid that I went to Tokyo, and I should focus on finding a guy and getting a life started with him. He wants to see grandkids sometime were his exact fucking words. >_> I don't even know where to start with that. Who is he to tell me that's what I should do with my life? He didn't fucking say that to Danny; because I'm a woman and can have kids apparently that's my responsibility. >_> All right, I've raged enough about things like this. Jack's Halloween party was awesome, though it was very cold that night. Halloween (as always) was quite a lot of fun. I think that's about it for today, thank you for listening.
Today's song is "Thank you for the venom" by My Chemical Romance
BYE!!!!

Busiest time of my life so far

HEY!!!!
Good morning, everyone. I'm insanely busy next week, but have time to write about what's going on now. I had a fucking amazing time at Comic-Con and wish I could have cosplayed. I think I will next time. My parents both had car trouble and I had to pick up my mom at the gas station when her car died. It still hasn't been fixed and the car's been in the shop for a week. She's unhappy about other people having to drive her. My dad's been driving her to work and she hates it because he starts arguments with her over the stupidest shit. I leave for Tokyo a week from Tuesday and it's awesome. I have to get my yen tomorrow. I'm so excited I can't even tell you. I wish I'd had more time to say more than just "Hi" to Stan Lee, but it was so crowded and they pushed everyone through the line to meet him so quickly. Jack and Mike have been asking again if I'm going to Jack's Halloween party. I want very much to go, and really shouldn't disappoint him again. Mom also told me Dad criticizes me behind my back, saying I'm wasting my money going to Tokyo and should get a better car instead and that I drink too much coffee, which is also a waste of my money. What business is it of his what I do with my money? That hurts my feelings, because I thought Dad and I were finally getting along a little better and starting to understand each other. I'm so glad I haven't told him anything about Jack and Mike, he'd hate them. I listened to this radio interview they did, and it was really good to hear them laughing and making jokes. They also got an actual motor home to tour in, as opposed to their shitty old van. They loved it immediately. I also really like Mike's new tattoo and haircut. Jack and I had another very weird moment where I'd had a song stuck in my head and he posted the video on Facebook. No one else does that.I should probably get going. Danny's birthday party is today and I have to get ready.
Today's song is "I'm not okay(I promise)" by My Chemical Romance
BYE!!!!!!!

Work, Comic-Con, birthday party, Halloween party, Tokyo, holy shit

 HEY!!!!
Good morning, everyone. I'm afraid I won't be writing next weekend because I'll be at Comic-Con on Saturday and Danny's birthday party on Sunday. It's fucking unbelievable how close all this shit finally is. I got invited to a Halloween Party by Jack and Mike and am very tempted to go since Halloween is on a Friday this year. I'd love to do all this shit, but it's a very difficult to find time for everyone and everything. But again, I have to try. I'm getting so excited for Tokyo, I can't wait to see it again. I've been working very hard and am still a little tired. I've been overwhelmed with the response of love and kindness from my family and friends when I let them in and tell them how tough all this is for me. My parents are being fairly cool and are trying to help in any way they can, though just listening and trying to see things from my point of view is good enough for me. Jack and Mike were saying again that I don't have to keep everything in, if something's bothering me or if I feel overwhelmed, I can just call them and they'll be there for me. Mark has been even more amazing than usual, so sweet and sympathetic. It's at times like these I ask myself what I did to deserve people like this, who seem to love me no matter what I do or say. It's just nice to be reminded that I don't have to take on life alone, and I actually needed to hear that. I miss Sarah, I haven't seen or talked to her in such a long time. She and her husband must be doing all right, but I miss talking to her every day like I used to. I can't wait to hear from her again, I know she'll text or something when she's ready. I just want her to be happy. I'd like to go visit Cassie again, I feel like we should spend time together while the weather is still decent and we could do something outside if we wanted to. I think that's it for right now. Thank you so much for reading.





Today's song is "The Killing Lights" by AFI
BYE!!!!!!!

Another crazy week

HEY!!!
Good morning, everyone. I'm really glad I can write finally. I talked to Jack again and he said he doesn't really want to go anywhere for a while. I know he and the guys have to go work on their new album soon, but I don't want him to go, either. I hope at least I can spend some time with him before he goes. I know he was saying how lonely he gets on tour, and how quickly the money they earned goes. I realize that even for someone like him who's doing what he loves, his work still has its drawbacks. I don't think he'd be doing anything else, though. I ran into Nate at our company's office, and it was so awkward. He knows he can't be angry with me there, but there was still a lot of contempt in his eyes when he looked at me. I don't want that to keep happening. I don't want to see him at all if this is how he's going to treat me. I just want a decent conversation with him again, it hurts me that everything between us is ruined. Mark and I are going to Comic-Con in less than 2 weeks, and it's so exciting. I can't wait. We're going to have an early birthday party for Danny the day after, since I'm going to be in Tokyo on his birthday and Cassie is going to be gone for the weekend after I get home. Then we have to start worrying about Thanksgiving and Christmas, holy shit. I think we might have scheduled too many things at once, once again. I have to say Mark has been especially amazing this week, so helpful, sweet, and understanding. I love him so much, he's the best little brother I could have hoped for. I think that's it for today. Thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is "I don't love you" by My Chemical Romance
BYE!!!!!

  

Feeling stressed

HEY!!!!
Good morning, everyone. Once again I'm feeling so stressed and have no idea how to help it. I saw Jack and Mike, their show was amazing. I couldn't believe the rush of feelings that came to me when I saw Jack's face again. I tried not to let on how nervous I was when I saw him, but I'm sure he knew. He asked why I bailed on him so many times before, and I tried so hard to explain myself, but everything just sounded like excuses to me. I told Mark about the situation I found myself in with him, and he didn't have anything nice to say about Jack. He said he was being unfair to me and he needs to treat me better. I don't think he likes Jack or Cassie's boyfriend very much, and thinks both men his sisters love are assholes. It felt quite nice to vent a little bit about my relationship with Jack, and I'm so grateful Mark was willing to listen. I loved just sitting there and talking to Jack after the show was over, he said he's going to have to go back to a regular job again at least for a while, and it's so weird coming back to his dark, cold, empty house now. He said it takes a long time to get back on his feet after a long tour cycle like this and just live like a normal human being again. That made me feel pity and love for him again. He and Mike both said that this is what they want to do, but it's tough on them too, being lonely and living out of a van for months on end. I beat myself up so much over whether or not I should go to this show and risk going to work exhausted in the morning. It was worth it to see him again after such a long time. I decorated Mom's house for Halloween and had so much fun doing it. It looks even better this year. I also started working for a new client who immediately made fun of my black nail polish. >_> Why is this such an issue when I know I'm good at my job and that's the only thing that should matter to her?  I think that's it for today, thank you so much for reading.
Today's song is "Boys don't cry" by The Cure
BYE!!!!!!!!