Going on vaction, and possibly falling in love

I've almost certainly decided that I'm going to go to San Francisco early next month, not too long after my birthday. I've already scouted out bus ticket prices and hotel prices, so all that's really left to do is make reservations and go. I really think I'm going to have fun doing this. ^_^ I also really think I love, or could love, this guy that I've been talking about for months now. I saw him again today, and am always amazed he can't hear my heart slamming in my chest. This is about the expression on my face when I see him. I want to at least ask him to come to "Pirates" 4 with me, since we're both huge fans of the series and I just really want to know if he'd ever condescend to date me. Sadly, I don't want to wait until May 20th, I want to date him NOW. I hate how many chances I've had to ask him out, and haven't done it. I really think he's an amazing guy, in addition to being incredibly pretty. He also seems smart and mature, and I LOVE that. I think the song for today should be "Ryojouku No Ame" by Dir en grey, just because they're my absolute favorite Japanese band, and I love that song, despite the fact that I understand about a grand total of 4 words that Kyo says in it. I guess that's it for now. BYE!!!!!!!

Places I want to go

HEY!!!

This is just a little blog about places I'd like to see.

San Francisco- I just think it looks like a really cool, fun place to be. Plus I love their little Japantown. Tell me that's not beautiful, right?

Salem, Mass.- For obvious reasons, I want to see this place. I'd probably want to see the Witch Museum and the old cemetery if possible.

London- This is also somewhere I want to go that sounds really fun. I also think a lot of it is probably really pretty, Hyde Park; for example.

Those are the 3 main places I've been wanting to go to, besides Japan and Egypt, and these places (at least the 2 that are actually located in the U.S.) should be much easier on my wallet. I keep telling myself that none of this should be too difficult, and I want to go on a trip totally on my own for once. Luckily, no one I know wants to go to San Francisco or Salem, so I WOULD be totally on my own. ^_^ I know it's probably not fair to my family to say that, but I DO need some time to myself, and I want to do this before I'm either married and have kids, or I'm too old and weak to do it. Not that I see myself being married with children any time soon, although I totally have a guy I want to be my boyfriend. He and I were talking just yesterday about our respective experencies in music class, and how awesome our teacher was. Every once in a while we'll have these moments where I actually feel we connect, and are just a guy and a girl talking, not gorgeous store clerk and crushing customer. They call that kismet, right? I was so stupidly happy to see him, and he actually started chatting willingly, and smiled at me with that smile of his that melts me every time. Okay, I guess that's enough about that for right now. BYE!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to where time stands still, where no one leaves and no one will.....

That little quote kind of captures how I feel about where I live sometimes. I've lived here about 15 years now, and sometimes it feels like I'll never be able to go anywhere else. I don't totally hate it here, though there's a city about 8 miles away I like a lot better. How lame is that? My favorite city in the world has to be Kyoto, though. I have a picture almost exactly like this one above my bed that I took at Kinkakuji, which is where this was taken. My sister and I were actually talking and laughing and enjoying each others' company for once when we went there, so that makes it a little more special for me. I think I should have a "song of the day" thing on my blog, if only because it amuses me. I think for today it'll be " On the arrow" by AFI, just because it's beautiful and kind of melancholic, and I feel fairly full of melancholy today. I just kept playing that song today, I have a weird tendency to do that though, it usually ends up making me feel better. I'm really looking forward to the new Rise Against album whenever it finally comes out, they're probably my favorite Punk band ever, and I love what they do. I've gotten my youngest brother to like them too, I think it's kind of funny how much I've influenced his musical tastes. I've gotten to like Slipknot, A Perfect Circle, Siouxsie and the Banshees, and The Cure. He's become a little goth by association, but I don't think he really minds. I hope he doesn't mind the influence I have over him, at least. I think we ususally have a lot of fun together, and he always makes me me laugh. I like to think at least that we have a good relationship, especially because I've taken care of him so much. I guess that's it for right now. BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, I want to go back to Japan

I was looking through my stacks of pictures from Japan and thinking about how amazing it was just being there. Obviously, I want to go back again...hence this post's title. I mean, look at this place. My sister and I went on a day when it was puring rain, crowded beyond all reason, and it was still one of the best days ever for me. This and losing 60 pounds are probably the only truly amazing things I've done in my life. I was kind of scared when we got there, but I still had so much fun. I've been thinking a lot too, about stuff that I still want to do, and going for a more extended trip to Japan is totally at the top of that list. I've also been dying to go to Egypt since I was about 10, but I just don't see that happening any time soon. I've decided that I don't care if I work kind of a crappy job and don't have as much as other people, as long as it affords me the means and freedom to do whatever else I want. I kind of wish it were all so easy, just say what I want, and get it. I guess that's really all there is for right now. Thanks for reading.

HEY!!!

Happy new year! I'm kind of forcing the cheerful attitude right now. I just found out a friend of mine moved without saying goodbye and is now halfway across the country. I just don't get it, I thought we were doing okay, and then she pulls this. I almost feel like I did something wrong, although the only thing I can think of is that I'm not very open or a big talker. I'm not like that with anyone, though, trust me. I hope I didn't drive her away permanently, at least we'll have facebook and e mail. The weather right now totally adds to the mood, it's cold, dark, and pouring rain. I've also been cranking Staind's "Outside" repeatedly, there are very few times when I hear a song and totally understand the emotion behind it, and this is one of them. It's to the point where I can almost ape Aaron's tone, if not hit the right notes, that's how many times I've listened to it. Yeah, I'm a total mope most of the time. The funny thing is, I was a happy little girl. I don't think most people who knew me as a kid would recognize me now, and I don't think many of them would really like the change. This is just how I am now, though, and I don't think I could change if I wanted to. As I was walking back here this guy with long dark hair, also wearing a black trench coat, smiled at me and said "Nice coat". I guess my look doesn't go totally unappreciated, it's just not the look most people go for. ^_^ I remember in my senior Economics class one of the guys who sat in front of me would constantly sing "Outside", and I'd start singing it really quietly with him, and he'd laugh and go "Why am I not surprised that you're probably the only girl here who knows that song?" I didn't really dress "goth" or "metal" or whatever I am then, but I was most certainly already a fan of the music. I feel that it sets me apart from most people, which makes me unique, but it also tends to isolate me from them. If you add that to my naturaly anti-social tendencies, you get a pretty lonely girl. I'm glad that I do have people who love and accept me as I am, though I often feel I lean on them a little too much. Even my family tends to tease me though, saying that I'm either a witch or a vampire, and I try not to take that too personally, though it does bother me sometimes. I am a witch, technically, but they don't know that. I really should go, thanks for listening. BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New MCR album!!!!

Hey!!!

Sorry it's been so long, but I had to write about this album and what's going on with me, I guess. I'm already in love this album, but I've been an MCR freak from the first note of their music I ever heard. I do kind of miss Bob, though. Two guesses on who my favorite member is though, and one doesn't count. They're not quite AFI, but are very, very, close. I do love Gerard's sense of humor, Davey can be a little too serious. I've been pretty busy, and have been spending more time with that guy, my God, you should see him smile. We're both "Pirates of the Carribean" freaks, too, and are very eagerly antcipating "On Stranger Tides". I'm seriously considering asking him to go with me when it FINALLY comes out. I guess things have been going okay, I just wish it weren't so Goddamn cold. It was almost so icy and snowy I couldn't go get "Danger Days", but I wasn't having that. I totally missed my brothers and sister yesterday, they had to work. I at least got to text all of them, and my best friend. I have some great people in my life, I just wish I could spend more time with them. I wrote my dad, actually just sent the letter, and I still have such mixed emotions about him. I'll give him one more second chance, let's put it that way. I want the whole happy, peaceful, family life and I know he's supposed to be a part of it, but I don't know if it's possible. I guess that's it for now.

BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, I'm back

I just wanted to write again, not thatI really have a lot more to say. It's been a lot more of the saem, I'm afraid. My sister and I have been getting along better, but that's because we don't spend too much time together, really. I got my older brother to listen to some AFI songs, but only because I begged him to find them for me and put them on my ipod. I'm technilogically impaired that way, so he had to help me out. H said that they were actaully pretty good, and I'm glad he said it over the phone, because I would have had this big, dumb "I told you so" smile on my face. It's nice that my family's been getting along pretty well lately, it makes me really happy. I'm also pretty happy how many of my friends from high school have stuck with me. I don't feel so lonely then, you know? It's also really cool that my brothers will do stuff for me that they hate. My older downlaoded AFI songs, my middle brother bought me a big bag of coffee for my birthday, and my youngest brother bought me "New Moon" on dvd for my birthday. they hate all that stuff, yet they did because they love me. I just like to be reminded of that. I guess i'd better go. BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!