HEY!!!!
I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I was playing Overwatch last weekend and you won't believe who they matched me up against, fucking Jack. I couldn't believe it when I heard his voice. He made a really funny joke, and I couldn't help but laugh. It felt so good to hear him laugh too, and for a split second it felt like old times between us. It was so painful being dragged back to reality after that brief, beautiful moment with him. Unfortunately nothing changes the fact that I fucked up our relationship and he's still in love with and engaged to another woman. I hate that all he has to do is laugh and my heart skips a beat.I hate that I'm having so much trouble letting him go. I still miss him, too. I had a much less bittersweet and much creepier experience the day. One of my neighbors, Jason, has it in his head that he likes me and wants to go out with me. He's tried to friend me twice on Facebook using different names, tries to talk to me everyday as I'm going upstairs to my apartment, and he just won't leave me alone. I've told him I'm not interested, but he keeps bothering me and I want him to stop. I don't want him to start stalking me or something, he already knows where I live after all. I don't know why I seem to attract the creepy guys yet push away the sweet, beautiful, funny ones. I have to admit Jack's sense of humor is part of what made me fall in love with him, along with his smile, laugh, and his love for and dedication to his music. I can't believe that at this time next month Cassie and I are going to be in Japan again, I can't fucking wait. I was asked again why I don't try to move there, and maybe I should at least try. I do worry what it would do to my family, though, and my parents in particular. Part of me really does want to get away from Jack, but I wonder if even putting the Pacific Ocean between us would be enough. I would still miss him, probably for a long time. I think that's about it for now, I promise to write more and keep this going.
Today's song is "Zakuro" by Dir en Grey
BYE!!!!!!
